Me Tarzan. You Jane!

They said it, not me.

They said it, not me.

Hi!  Me Unmarried Man Over Thirty.  Call me UMOT!   You pretty lady!  I act same way I did 15 years ago.  I hang with buddies, drink beer, smoke pot, play video games.  Maybe in band?  Play music!  UMOT no want to grow up!  I want to bang on my drum all day!

Sometimes UMOT get sad.  UMOT’s friends get married and leave UMOT!  This makes UMOT question fundamental lifestyle choices!  Maybe UMOT should no have sold all personal belongings to follow Phish for three years/live in Costa Rican Jungle/hike the Appalachian Trail?  UMOT do what UMOT want to do. That it!  I no like do things I no like doing! 

UMOT likes sexy with ladies but UMOT no want commitment.  That why I date women who younger than me by 7 years minimum.  They no make me feel immature.  They no threaten poor decision making skills.  I no commit to nothing besides beer, spliff!  

I make baby in 10 to 15 years with pretty young lady who make baby easy! No lady my age need apply.  You make UMOT uneasy with independence, intelligence.  Scares UMOT.  I no like lady my age! Go away lady my age! Go away! 

Nice to talk to pretty lady!  Maybe I text later? Maybe hang at my studio apartment?  Make sexy?  Okay, me tired now. Me drank PBR, tequila until early morning and must sleep now on second hand mattress.  Night, night, pretty lady. UMOT go Dreamland.  Me text later.

77 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Lauren on August 5, 2009 at 10:52 am

    OMG! That’s great and so accurately describes so many of the “men” (notice I use that term loosely here) that I meet. Thanks for my morning giggle.

    Reply

  2. Posted by QM on August 5, 2009 at 11:15 am

    HA! You are def in trouble with UMOT5 – that’s the real danger zone.

    Reply

  3. Posted by Robo on August 5, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    If I live to 30, I’m hoping to apply for the UMOT pass card that still lets me stay out until last call at dive bars under the condition that I maintain my current personal UMUT commandments: Thou Shalt Not Creep, Thou Shalt Not Purposefully Hit On Strangers, Honor Thy Bartender, Thou Shalt Not Commit Asshattery, and Remember To Be Eloquent and Fascinating Regardless of How Much One Has Consumed.

    Reply

  4. Posted by JHawk on August 5, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    …and yet is seems that there is no higher calling than that of a UMOT… Which other life pursuits require at least thirty years of intense training and preparation? Consider that a UMOT must not only learn to train their mind in overcoming the delicious (yet ultimately soul-destroying) sins of gluttony (quality beer), greed (nice furniture) and lust (marriage-hungry nubile vixens), but also to direct their energy toward living a self-fulfilling life (craftily avoiding envy and despair along the way).
    A UMOT has learned to spend his life in pursuit of fundamental understanding and self-awareness, a state of happiness unencumbered by the corrosiveness of a relationship where “winning” is the goal… Virtuous UMOT’s know that winning is not so much fun as playing the game (real-life, video, guitar hero, sexy ladies, et. al. )…
    …can the same be said of UWOT? :)

    Reply

  5. Posted by future UMOT on August 6, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    I could marry a girl my age and watch her gain weight, get sex once a month (if that) from the same aging woman, get my once a year obligatory bj on my birthday, hand my life over to a female supervisor, wait for her to get bored and cheat, blaim me for the cheating b/c i didn’t keep her life “spontaneous” and “interesting”, then she’ll divorce me, take half my money, the kids, the house, the car, the dog, child support and alimony. All this after she cheated on me ( 70% of all divorces are formally initiated by the woman, 50% of all divorced women admit to cheating).

    OR

    I could do all the things you listed above and devote my life to enjoyment.

    UMOT thinks married man fool

    Reply

    • Posted by The Lone Wolf on August 7, 2009 at 8:54 am

      Why so sad future UMOT? :(

      Reply

    • Posted by mot on August 7, 2009 at 5:20 pm

      You do join the “No blow job” club once you get married. I got a membership card and everything.

      Reply

    • Posted by Amused on August 9, 2009 at 4:00 pm

      Right, because we all know that men like you never gain weight, do not age, and are so eager to please the ladies in the bedroom. It’s much better to get with a younger girl who will overlook your beer paunch and penchant for 3 minutes worth of sex because she is too inexperienced to know the difference and because she’s just dating you to piss off her daddy.

      Reply

    • Posted by Thomas on August 12, 2009 at 11:00 am

      You sound like you’ll be a very smart UMOT :)
      You figured out modern relationships perfectly, my friend!

      – happy UMOT :)

      Reply

    • Future UMOT right!

      Reply

  6. Posted by Jim on August 7, 2009 at 10:27 am

    Why do you care. If you think so lowly of the umot, just leave him be. He’s not hurting you, only himself (as you point out). Anyways, it should be unmarried man over 50. 50 for men is 30 for women.

    Reply

  7. Posted by future UMOT on August 7, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    i’m not sad lone wolf. i’m not a fool either.
    actually i’m pretty happy, it’s friday and future UMOT just had beer and spliff.
    tonight future UMOT get young pretty girl.
    UMOT no want old worn out lady. UMOT no like lady.
    They come pre-pissed off

    Reply

  8. Posted by future UMOT on August 7, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    and i agree with Jim. 30 yr old women are for 50yr old men.

    Reply

    • Posted by The Lone Wolf on August 7, 2009 at 6:15 pm

      Shit man. This changes my evening plans entirely then. I was going to hit the Fan later to see if I could get some strange but now I guess I’ll go to that Bingo Parlor on Broad St and hit up the Early Bird special at the Sizzler. Thanks for the tip! I can’t believe I’ve been wasting my time getting action from men my own age-what a waste!

      Reply

  9. Posted by future UMOT on August 8, 2009 at 12:19 am

    “You do join the “No blow job” club once you get married”

    Yeah. . . i know. . . . thats why i wrote it down. Everything else i wrote is true too. . . . thats why i wrote it down.

    “I can’t believe I’ve been wasting my time getting action from men my own age-what a waste!”

    You mean that you’ve been wasting your time getting action from men your own age who cant get women my age. Or action from men my age who cant get women my age.

    “I was going to hit the Fan later to see if I could get some strange”

    Nice. That must be your “intelligence and independence” shining through. I feel very uneasy and immature after reading that.

    It woudn’t be that hard for a women to hook me into mairrage. But theres one question that I always ask them and they always fail. Its not a hard question but it’s very important.
    “Are you a good cook?”

    Reply

  10. Posted by BarbaraGordon on August 8, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    Careful…I understand that UMOTs left to their own devices turn to old lonely bar flies.

    Reply

    • Posted by future UMOT on August 9, 2009 at 12:00 am

      “Theres two types of people in the world, married and bored or single and lonely.” – Chris Rock

      Chris Rock is a genius.

      Reply

  11. Posted by Catherine Thomas on August 9, 2009 at 8:15 am

    I am a married 30 year old female with a child and another on the way, and I have to say my marriage is amazing! Instead of gaining any weight I have actually lost a ton of weight and look better than I have ever looked in my life. My boobs are perky, my stomach is flat, my legs are long and lean. My hair is always perfect and my teeth are white and straight. And speaking of sex, I beg my husband to have sex with me everyday and it is so fabulous. I mean I don’t work, so if I am going to send all my husband’s money all day long, I at least try to greet him at the door with a cocktail in one hand on my knees ready to give him his daily bj. I hang on every word my smart husband says and look to him to guide our wonderful family. He is the boss, because he makes the money and he is the man. Now as for my husband he has gained about 30 pounds since we got married, he comes and goes as he pleases, never helps with the child, plays golf whenever he desires, comes home to a clean and perfect house with dinner on the table. So to the “future UMOT” married life is so amazing, but you really won’t know.

    Reply

    • Posted by future UMOT on August 9, 2009 at 2:32 pm

      How long have you been married Catherine? 7 years yet?

      Reply

      • Posted by future UMOT on August 9, 2009 at 2:36 pm

        And also, the reason you are still attracted to your husband and he still gets laid everyday is because the two of you are still performing the classic gender rules. He makes the decisions, he makes the money, he’s in control.

        P.S. this is you saying that married life is amazing, not your husband.

      • Posted by future UMOT on August 9, 2009 at 2:36 pm

        And also, the reason you are still attracted to your husband and he still gets laid everyday is because the two of you are still performing the classic gender roles. He makes the decisions, he makes the money, he’s in control.

        P.S. this is you saying that married life is amazing, not your husband.

      • Posted by Amused on August 9, 2009 at 4:03 pm

        Add “poor understanding of sarcasm” to UMOT’s list of attributes.

  12. Posted by Catherine on August 9, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    You are NOT good with Sarcasm! No one has it better or worse, everyone is just trying to live their lives man. Peace man.

    Reply

    • Posted by future UMOT on August 9, 2009 at 5:31 pm

      hahaha…. thas pretty funny. I think that there are still some women who respect patriarchy. I thought you might be one of them.
      Peace, babe.

      Reply

  13. Posted by Joss on August 9, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    The problem with women over 30 is that we can smell this kind of shit from a mile away.

    Reply

  14. Posted by Chester on August 10, 2009 at 12:30 am

    This is not amusing in the slightest. You need to work on the “humor” thing, bud.

    Reply

  15. There is a lot that irks me about this post…

    It’s not just the condescension, or even outright hatred for males of this type – although this in itself is rather puzzling. Monkeys root their mothers, but you don’t get upset about it. All these men living like children and yet it still rates a satirical mention from you. This reeks of bad faith. Don’t get me wrong. I truly feel for women that are rejected by a UMOT, as you characterise them. To see a man choose beer, buddies and fart jokes over you time and time again must be truly demoralizing. And I can completely understand why such bitterness for a class of being that otherwise wouldn’t register at all on your evolved consciousness would so define you.

    I think what irks me is that total unwillingness to see the UMOT as a subject – a person, and try to understand the conditions that would lead a person to make such choices as they do. Perhaps this is a result of women having been treated as objects by men for so long that we must all suffer this long period of retribution. So instead – UMOT is a caveman – barely human. There is no explanation of his impoverished choices beyond his unevolved monkeyness. But I repeat – if this really were the explanation – would you be writing about it? Bad faith…

    Now – I’m not defending the UMOT in terms of the actual choices described, beyond choosing not to marry. I’m an over 30 male that is unmarried – although I’ve recently moved in with a partner. I’ll have coffee with my mates maybe once a week. But that’s about it for this party animal. Otherwise I’m hard at work on my Philosophy PHD. I’m lucky in that I’ve found a girl that doesn’t care a whole lot about money… cause I’m likely never to provide it. She gives me the freedom to pursue my love of learning and writing. But I’ll never marry her.. because I want us both to be free to pursue our passions as we need too. Insofar as we both provide a base of support for these endeavors, we’ll no doubt stay together.

    But have a think about UMOT – he was never lucky to have found his passion as I did. All he knows is that he was happy when he was young. He had freedom and autonomy and a family of mates to share that with. They try to hang on to that – because they don’t know how else to define themselves. Their friends begin to capitulate one by one to the drive-thru, pre-packaged lifestyle that defines modern western society. On the one hand they feel lonely and miserable; but then they see the vacant and withdrawn stares of their friends as they discuss with their wives yet another style of toilet seat cover and kitchen cupboard door knobs. They honestly don’t know what to think.

    My advice – although ultimately, I doubt I’m any more qualified than anyone else – when next you meet a man, don’t think about how it is that they can be made to conform to the lifestyle that you deem to be the most mature and adult. Rather, look for their passion – that which they get out of bed every morning for – and ask what you can do to help fulfill it. And if they don’t know their passion – ask what it is you could do to help bring it out. Ask if this fits in with your passion… don’t neglect yourself, because you won’t succeed in any of the former tasks if you do. If you can manage all this – no easy task to be sure – you’ll find that over time, you’ll become one part of his passion and reason for being (never his sole passion…).

    Such advice goes for all relationships – not just lovers, but friends as well. But hey – don’t listen to me… I’m just a male over thirty that never settled down… and never will.

    Fuck that..

    Reply

  16. [...] Jack recently posted about a pair of ladies who criticized unmarried men over 30-years-old, a group I will be part of in under a year. The ladies have failed to realize that their snark [...]

    Reply

  17. Posted by CT on August 10, 2009 at 11:17 am

    You “men” are super sensitive! The UMOTs must be on their periods.

    Reply

  18. Posted by FG on August 10, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    “If a man rather drink beer, smoke pot, and play video games rather than take you out on a date, what does that say about you? Human beings are animals that respond rather predictably to punishment and reward—if there is no reward in trying to fuck you then men will choose other activities. I don’t think this is an insult to the man, but to the woman who has not worked on herself properly to be more interesting than Halo 3.”

    Damn right.

    http://www.rooshv.com/older-women-refuse-to-blame-themselves-face-reality

    Reply

  19. Posted by Michael on August 10, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    @daniel

    “To see a man choose beer, buddies and fart jokes over you time and time again must be truly demoralizing.”

    Makes you wonder if it’s the man’s fault that the woman can’t figure out how to be more interesting than beer. Make us a better offer and maybe you’ll get more attention.

    Reply

  20. Posted by jen80 on August 10, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    Whereas one could either assume that the Cafe Darkness gals (a) don’t like boys or (b) think they are better than boys, there’s no doubt that this guy just hates women. Poke around on his blog for a while if you don’t believe me. I bet he has some Mommy issues.

    Reading his post makes me think The Lone Wolf has likely built her case for the UMOT on strong circumstantial evidence.

    Reply

  21. “I hang with buddies, drink beer, smoke pot, play video games. Maybe in band? Play music!”

    I have never met a 30 year old that plays video games.

    Band?

    You miss fired on the type of guy.

    But you are right, even successful 30 year olds are not getting married.

    To American women anyway.

    – MPM

    Reply

  22. Posted by Wilbur on August 10, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    Prior to reading this thread, I thought that women wanted to be ignored by the men whom they hate and were annoyed when they received attention. Silly, me. Now, I understand that women want attention from the men whom they hate and are annoyed when they do not get it. Thank you for opening my eyes, and I will implement this newfound knowledge, immediately.

    Reply

  23. Haha. This is hilarious. My boy Roosh gets in the mix and shit hits the fan… Beautiful.

    Shots on me next time we convene.

    Reply

  24. just read this today, kinda looks like roosh made your case for you. absolutely hysterical – all of you. good work.

    Reply

  25. Posted by UMOT on August 11, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    UMOT say “Word.”
    UMOTS Life is good! Women want to control, women want to nag, women want to be man. Women no feminine anymore. Women ruined by feminist bullshit. Women want man for babies, then babies #1. Woman then have UMOT by Balls! Women want ot keep up with Jonses. Women irrational. Women over-emotional. Women passive agrressive. Women too judgmental. Women too much gossip. Women use sex as weapon. UMOT think almost impossible to find a psychologically well adjusted woman! UMOT cant trust women. Women great liars. UMOT honest and sensitive. UMOT no match for modern American womans cunning. Woman play games. UMOT simple. UMOT really smart! So, UMOT have fun with women as much as possible. Enjoy life. Enjoy money. UMOT be a real man and have lots of sex! Then, UMOT retire to Brazil, when grey below waist, and have lots more sex! Have ten children on social security and pension! He show lots of little new UMOTS the way to happiness..UMOT be good father..many women like king…and happy life…

    Reply

  26. Posted by UMOT on August 11, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    Remember, UMOT also very good with women. Therefore. UMOT can do as UMOT pleases. If woman want get married, woman can find many many weaker desperate p-whipped man out there. UMOT see them every day. They happily marry woman..Woman get what she want and ‘man'(really wo-man) get what he want. No shortage of these men. If woman still single, and woman want quality man, who good with woman, and who make her feel good, woman need to step up game and become desirebale to UMOT. Why should UMOT marry someone who not represent best deal for him? He have so many choice. He also good at smelling out fakers. They not last. Have to become woman who UMOT be truly stupid not to marry. Have to be what UMOT wants, not what woman thinks UMOT should want. Woman stay single this way. ‘Strong’ feminist woman intimidated by strong man like UMOT. UMOT and feminist controller not mix. Controlling feminist good for weaker man. UMOT have lots of choice. Why choose woman who not have her act together to be good mate for UMOT? Who ruled by ideals read in some book? Who truly have no skill to make UMOT happy? Who not kind and giving? Woman step up game, and have true shot with UMOT

    Reply

  27. Posted by DeepThought on August 11, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    So let me get it straight…guys would rather play video games or have fun than marry a well used woman?

    Instead of attacking men, why not look at it from another prespective. Human beings are drawn to the pain/pleasure principle. We take actions to maximize pleasure and minimize pain…how much pain do modern women give men that they won’t even GIVE UP video games for them. If you keep wanting to give the milk for free, than do not expct men to buy the cow. An an sagging, wrinkled cow at that.

    Reply

  28. Posted by DeepThought on August 11, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    One other comment…

    Face the facts, your destined to be on TV one day…the old haggard, lonely cat lady with 100 cats being dragged out of her house. You can be as angry as you want and tonight when I get off work my 43 yr old body is going to be having fun with my 25 yr old Girl friends body. Man, now that’s something to look forward to. She cooks, is very feminine, and doesn’t nag. Try to find that in a 40 year old American women.

    Reply

  29. Posted by Future UMOT (and looking forward to it) on August 11, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    It’s been posted here before but I’ll do it again just to emphasize the point–I read this post, and the Roosh post, and I couldn’t have written up a better response than he did, here it is again READ IT: http://www.rooshv.com/older-women-refuse-to-blame-themselves-face-reality

    Reply

  30. Posted by hormoaning on August 11, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    Sour grapes are never pretty. Especially when attached to the saggy labia of an overaged, unfeminine and self-entitled American woman.

    Reply

  31. Posted by Amused on August 11, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    Wow. The humorless trolls are out in full force posting from mommy’s basement.

    Reply

  32. Posted by ugh on August 12, 2009 at 12:12 am

    Wow-

    You ladies sound just like the chubby nerdy guys who are always complaining about how girls want the bad boys.

    Maybe you could hook up with the chubby nerds and find love?

    Reply

  33. Posted by Lee on August 12, 2009 at 12:41 am

    so. . . women think theres something wrong with men for not wanting to marry women. . . hmmmm

    Reply

  34. Posted by Thomas on August 12, 2009 at 10:47 am

    It’s interesting how women are clueless as to how aging makes them so unattractive.

    Ladies: when you are young, every man wants to sleep with you. You love the attention, get free drinks and dinner and think it will last forever, right? But think for a minute: why do you get so much attention if there is the same number of males and females? How can you be in such high demand when there is “equilibrum” in the “market”? Let me tell you why: it’s because there is no “equilbrum” in the “market” because the older women are simply inexistent as far as men are concerned. That’s what makes the “dating game” so unbalanced in favor of young women: you have men of every generation competing for the attention of the few women who are young.

    So, ladies, the reason why you get so much attention when you are young, is also the same reason why you won’t get any attention, just a decade later.

    – happy UMOT :)

    Reply

  35. Posted by Thomas on August 12, 2009 at 10:57 am

    Why would UMOT get married?

    UMOT no want lose house, lose kids, lose savings, lose freedom, lose wages, lose passport, lose driver-license. UMOT not stupid :)

    Reply

    • Posted by bg on August 12, 2009 at 1:27 pm

      Yes, it is a much better idea to bang fertile young girls who don’t have careers or financial stability.

      Reply

    • “UMOT no want lose house, lose kids, lose savings, lose freedom, lose wages, lose passport, lose driver-license. UMOT not stupid ”

      BINGO! UMOT = men finally wising up. No more Mr. Nice Guy who give bossy diva half his net worth just to get the same pussy week after week (if he lucky) as she keeps gaining weight, wrinkles and attitude.. Feminists make divorce easy and marriage hell for men. Now men say NO THANK YOU anymore.

      UMOT has no biological clock. Womyn waste their 20s slooting around (ignoring nice pre-UMOTs) until their clocks start ticking by 30 and then resent men who prefer younger women with no baggage. Womyn forgot that they are still not biologically men, despite how liberals brainwashed them (to think gender is all “social constructs”). Women’s eggs have shelf lives, and they should have planned better accordingly. So, fuck these bitter cougars and leftover MILFs now. UMOT rocks! \m/

      Reply

  36. Posted by hot&30 on August 12, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    This blog has gotten out of control. It’s as if Roosh took a big crap and all these turds fell out and started commenting.
    You want to talk about misconceptions??? PPPPPllllleeeeaaassseee! You would not know what a true 30-year-old woman is like because none would have your ignorant stinky ass taking up time we could be spending with real men.
    You are just not grown.

    Reply

  37. Posted by DeepThought on August 12, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    @ bg on August 12, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    Who says a 25 year old doesn’t have a career? I finished college by 22 and my GF who is 25 now is already 3 years into her career. She doesn’t mind I’m 18 years older and why do older women get so angry when they see this?

    Women need to understand reality. If you want to party or make your career your number one priority, in your 20’s and early 30’s, than the available pool of men is going to shrink significantly.

    Either make it a priority to find a soul mate when you’re still attractive or stop the whining. Your novels, self help books, and Lifetime/Oprah TV say you can have your cake and eat it too but in reality you cannot. Life is a balancing act and it’s time modern women realized this.

    Reply

    • Posted by bg on August 12, 2009 at 4:03 pm

      Hey man, I am not your 25-year-old girlfriend. I don’t need you trying to teach me about “reality.”
      Don’t worry your tiny little brain about me; I have a real man and a career. Oh, and a bangin’ body too. Thanks.

      PS According to this blog you need to look out because your girl is half way to hagsville. Maybe she has a younger sister?

      Reply

  38. There are pretty good reasons why there is generally an age gap between men and women dating.

    1. WOMEN prefer it, finding older (but not too older) guys sexy, with greater power, social status, confidence, wealth, and so on than themselves. Alpha males in other words, and that is true for Carrie and Big in Sex and the City to say, Molly Ringwald and “Jake Ryan” in Sixteen Candles. Farmer Ted (Anthony Michael Hall) was the same age as Ringwald, but because like most boys his physical maturity lagged his female contemporaries, he keeps his breath minty fresh but his powder is always dry.

    2. Younger women generally (though not always) have fewer sex partners and thus less relationship bitterness, angry reactions, and a greater ability to bond. They are a better bet than a same-age woman for a man in his thirties (generally) because they are not burnt out on men or unable to form lasting emotional attachments. [Sex hormones create bonding, too many partners for men or women reduces their effectiveness, this is why all lasting cultures try limit sexual partners for men and women as much as possible.]

    [Men who have too many partners, of course, are not worth much to women as possible mates, or boyfriends either. For most men, however, they are nothing in HS, lucky in college (due to favorable sex ratios and booze) and have long dry streaks in their early-late twenties due to being forgone by their peers for older more Alpha guys further along in their careers. This makes a man in his early thirties appreciably under in urban professional settings ON AVERAGE the partner count of his same-age attractive female peer, and probably roughly equal to a woman say, 6-7 years younger.]

    This is biologically based, on the key fact that young girls reach emotional and physical maturity much more rapidly than boys. Creating an ever-ongoing gap between partners, experience, and so on. As a practical matter, fertility for women falls off the cliff rapidly in her thirties, and there is increased risk of birth defects the older the mother (and yes, father) gets. For a man looking to have a family, a woman of merely average attractiveness of say, age 26, is far more valuable than a more beautiful woman of 35. All things being equal.

    A woman in her thirties can certainly attract casual sex, but a woman in her thirties is no more “owed” anything than a man is owed the prospect of a relationship in his twenties. The relationship market is brutal — for a man in his twenties yet to establish himself, quite so. He is owed nothing, of course, and owes women his peers later nothing either. For a woman in her twenties, it’s her peak relationship value. Her best bet is to find an older guy (not too older) of good character, know him well, and marry him if that is what she wants. A woman in her thirties? I would advise her to seek a man in his forties. SHE will have value, being younger. She’ll get a man perhaps more Alpha than her male same-age peers.

    But the relationship market is brutal, brutal to men (in their twenties, when they should be finding a near-age peer, often priced out by older guys), and to women (who find they just don’t have much to offer men their own age in their thirties).

    Neither is owed anything, and neither gets anything, without a realistic examination of their market value. Men’s market value is low in their twenties, peaks in their early thirties, and declines thereafter. Women’s value peaks in their twenties, and declines thereafter. This is biological and social reality. Complaints will get you nothing.

    For a woman in her thirties who wants commitment, find a guy in his forties. They’ll give you all you can handle.

    Reply

  39. Posted by Barista on August 12, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    this is really long and boring.

    Reply

  40. Posted by The Lone Wolf on August 12, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    You’re really long and boring. Who knew I could piss off so many people and be right at the same time? God I’m good. I can’t wait to see what happens when I talk about how balding is man’s cross to bear-It will be sweet……but I’m so bitter so what do I know? Let’s say comments on this post are donezo-yes?

    Reply

  41. Posted by Little Tigger on August 21, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    I’m disabled so what old sea hag
    wants me?

    Besides I am widowed and I don’t
    want to be married if she isn’t like
    my late wife, yes I’m COMPARING
    get over it.

    Get the picture?

    I don’t want to be in a reships all’
    they ever do is fight and sad and
    tease me because i’m handicapped
    admit it, Carole, you DO pick on me
    because I’m handicapped and you
    can’t stand the fact that I’M not
    Normal, go find someone else to
    leech off of, beanhatch.

    I might not drink beer or smoke,
    but I DO play with my Hotwheels
    and watch Sesame Street so what
    big deal wanna fight about it, o thats
    right if there isa fight, that means,
    reshipossss!!!! Which I don’t want,
    I don’t want a reships, OF ANY KIND
    this means everything, commitment
    hankypanky, dating, all of it, I don’t
    want it, I don’t need it, its NOT WORTH it.

    Besides, I’m on disability because
    I’M DISABLED which you so commonly
    point out to me, you old hags wno’t hire
    me IN THE FIRST PLACE just beacuse
    i’m a little bit different , Oh wait I’m
    not NORRRRMALLL enough for you
    to play your slave games with, so I
    am off to the video room to edit videos
    for now, then I will go back to my playroom
    to play with my Legos, WHERE I AM HAPPY!!

    Dang straight I’m bitter I’m sick of
    the bullstool, I’m sick of the stupid
    suttleties, YES YOU DO have to spell
    everything out to me, I DON’T TAKE HINTS,
    spell it out, or THERES THE DOOR.

    My way or the HIGHWAY!

    Reply

  42. Posted by Mil-tech Bard on August 25, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    I was scared away from the marriage market in my early 20’s by watching 10 marriages at my first job blow up with several of the divorcees shacking up with one another.

    Wanting no part of that, I became a very single, uninterested in women, and very fat man until my mid 30’s. At that point I got heavily involved in both fitness and the couples dancing (salsa, swing, ballroom, country/Western and Hustle) scenes to find a suitable wife and start a family.

    My experiance as an American “UMOT” marrying for the first time in my mid-40’s was that American women treat the very fact you are an unmarried American man over 30 as marker for being a “Loser” or a “Nice Guy.”

    “Loser” being defined as either being unable to commit to a log term relationships with women or a zero economically.

    “Nice Guy” being a code word for extremely creepy guy women run away from as fast as they can, whether or not the man was economically successful.

    The two exceptions I saw were 1) you were a recent (5-year or less) divorcee or 2) you had a child from a previous relationship in the last 5-years.

    In my experiance things that negated #1 & #2 above included voicing pro-life religious and/or either pro-gun or pro-military political points of view.

    I’m currently married to a religious, dancing, lady 13 years my junior and we have had one child to date and are planning more.

    This passage from whiskey:

    >Men’s market value is low in their twenties, peaks in their early thirties, and declines thereafter.
    >Women’s value peaks in their twenties, and declines thereafter. This is biological and social reality.
    >Complaints will get you nothing.
    >
    >For a woman in her thirties who wants commitment, find a guy in his forties. They’ll give you all you
    >can handle.

    was my life experiance.

    Make of it what you will.

    Reply

  43. Posted by UMOTT on June 1, 2010 at 2:36 am

    Unmarried Man Over Twenty Two peeks at post and comments… and slowly backs away…

    Reply

  44. Posted by Thorfinnsson on June 17, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    What kind of idiot dates women over 30 when the women under 30 are so much more attractive? Who the hell wants to commit to an aging shrew who nags men for allegedly poor decision making skills?

    Get real spinsters

    Reply

  45. Posted by matt on September 6, 2010 at 3:32 am

    sounds like this was written a bitter old bag whos biological clock is running down.

    Look, YOU keep calling intelligence, not MEN.
    It’s kind of like how women also think they’re funny too

    Reply

  46. Posted by nothingbutthetruth on September 19, 2010 at 4:57 pm

    Haha. It was funny. Let me give it a go.

    Me UMOT. Me happy. Me no married. Me free. Me do whatever I want. Me no worry. Me peace. Me don’t give damn about other think.

    Reply

  47. [...] at Wharton and now is slightly over 30 without a potential husband in sight.  What does she do?  She blames the men who don’t want her for anything more than a bang.  She thinks to herself, “I’m a high achiever, confident, assertive, I’m [...]

    Reply

  48. Posted by dang on September 29, 2010 at 8:36 pm

    Is this supposed to be negative? UMOT’s life sounds awesome.

    Reply

  49. Posted by Dan the Man on December 12, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    Just stumbled on this, havent been much on the internet in a while, this post is frikkin hilarious, the chick who wrote this nailed it, and some of the dudes responses were rite on target too.You got the dream free spirit livin w/o commitment, you got the illusion of what is supposed to be married committed ect, and then you got the nightmare of the marraige that goes to shit. Whether your livin the dream, the illusion or the nightmare rememebr its not the destination, its all about the journey amigos! enjoy the ride be grateful for the good the bad and the ugly it all makes you better in the end. All is fair in love and war. Fight the good fight my niggas. No matter which you are you still gotta get up strap up and duke it out day after day. Carpe Diem. Peace Love and Hand Grenades

    Reply

  50. Stumbled on to this. Lots of vitriol. I ask the poster first of all- why do you care? Honestly. You clearly have contempt for UMOT, so again, why do you care?

    It is amazing to me that you are in essence trying to shame men who are (apparently) not interested in you or your ilk. You actually have an issue with the fact that most older men prefer younger women? Don’t you think this is nature? Not to talk of the fact that younger women are generally more attractive.

    This is just basically “you don’t want me therefore you are pathetic” which is such a bizarre stance. It is like guys who complain that girls only want bad boys-** don’t fucking get butt hurt just because someone did not choose you**.

    Don’t get mad because you fail someone’s test, or fall below their standard. Shaming them (or trying to anyway) won’t work. Instead of trying to somehow make them change their standards (controlling people), change yourself or decide you do not give a fuck.

    Reply

  51. Posted by Gavn on January 15, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    You spend a great deal of effort dehumanizing men, and then you wonder why men would rather play X-Box than play “relationship time” with you? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe all your problems with men might originate or have a lot to do with the fact that, well, you’re sexist and obviously resent them?

    Reply

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