RICHMOND, VA. Fan resident Sam Smith experienced what he called, “a complete and total fucking meltdown” after using new girlfriend, Ellen Davey’s, shower for the first time this morning. “I stayed the night at her place and decided to just shower there before work”, he explained. The couple recently starting dating so Mr. Smith’s use [...]
Archive for September, 2009
29 Sep
To friend or not to friend-that is the question
I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. Dating these days is different than it was back in the good ole days. First of all, I just kind of just sat in a booth with my friends and got hammied and wondered why I never met anyone. Plus, I drank a lot of beer, [...]
29 Sep
hello my name is Barista
And I’m back from the longest extended break I’ve had since 1995. Wow, time off will destroy your liver do a body good. I’ve traveled the country, watched a few excellent people get hitched, celebrated a big anniversary of my own and cleaned up one hell of a mess from the kegger that TLW threw [...]
28 Sep
An Offense to the Sensibilities of a Virtuous and Pious Woman
A recent trip to a local Mexican cantina much offended my feminine sensibilities and impeccable upbringing upon the arrival of what is called a Kickball League. Apparently Kickball involves a large, rubber ball being rolled toward a player of another team. The object of the game is to “kick the ball” and run toward three [...]
25 Sep
Flashback Friday with Cafe Darkness
Back in the day we blamed it on the rain. Now we blame it on the alcohol. Either way, just don’t blame me because it ain’t my fault! Anywhoos I fucking loved Milli Vanilli when I was a little pup. Then I found out that Milli-or was it Vanilli-was full of shit and they were lip synching. [...]
24 Sep
Best pickup line ever
Said to my coworker outside of Steal Your Soul, Inc: “Dayum, girl. You sure are wearin’ them shoes!”
I’m not sure what that even means, but I love it. I would have given that gentleman my number in a hot second.
23 Sep
Wednesday thoughts from the desk of TLW
To my rat bastard coworker who keeps stealing my coffee creamer-I hate you and I will find you. I will hunt you down and avenge my French Vanilla Coffee Mate! I’m not sure what part of my note that reads: “TLW’s coffee creamer-do not steal, please! Am poor!” you don’t grasp but apparently the concept [...]
22 Sep
You can’t please everybody!
Recently I’ve been off the radar here and there. Cell phones (even Billy Mays!) can be a bit of a stain at times. I like to be free and live my life! People expect you to be reachable at all times and that isn’t always conducive to my lifestyle. What if I’m “busy”? Or napping? [...]
21 Sep
Top 5 things TLW loves!
1-Shakira. Holy shit, y’all. Not only do I think she wrote “She Wolf” about yours truly but I’m fairly certain she could be arrested in many countries for those moves. Jesus Christ. Makes a girl a little bi-curious. Do yourself a favor and spend the $1.29 on this little ditty off iTunes. “She Wolf” is [...]
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