I just can’t say “No”!

Mr. Paws, right after feeding time.

 

I’ve gotten a lot of questions recently about my 24 semi-feral cats.  Amazingly enough many people don’t know the first thing semi-feral cat ownership!  In an effort to educate the public, below are several FAQs that I hope will enlighten you.    

 

Is it true that semi feral cats form colonies? 

 

Yes, semi feral cats form colonies-technically called “clowders”. Furthermore, these colonies have a distinct hierarchy with one cat being the main meow-meow in charge.  In my semi feral cat colony, this big guy is the one and only Mr. Paws!  He’s half Tabby/half Persian/100% badass.  How the dominate male is determined in any colony is through a series of hissing and swatting matches in which the loser loses an eye nine out of ten times.  Take a gander at Mr. Paws’ picture above and I think any questions about his virility will quickly be squashed. 

 

How do you feed so many semi feral cats?

 

Easy. I just toss a bag of food on my kitchen floor when I get home from work and then go for my nightly run.  It’s best to not be around during feeding time. 

 

How many litter boxes do you have?

 

Six.

 

Is what you’re doing illegal?

 

Yes. 

 

Is it awkward when you’re keeping company and your apartment is filled with cats?

 

It depends.  I explain to any male visitor the situation beforehand to avoid any potential awkward encounters-particularly with Mr. Paws-as he is a bit protective of his lair when new people enter. Sometimes people are cool with it. Sometimes people think it’s weird.

 

Why do you own so many semi feral cats?

 

Why don’t you own so many semi feral cats?

 

How long are you going to keep up this shtick about these cats? It’s getting old. I thought you had two dogs?

 

I’ll keep it up as long as I want.  Unless you want me to start talking about my growing Precious Moments figurine collection then I say we just stick to the cats.