An email exchange from the ladies of CD. Always ladylike, we keep our disagreements civil and find resolutions that are mutually satisfying. Except for when TLW is sweet on her cab driver and the Barista starts bitching about the meter. Or whenever Walmart or the Black Eyed Peas are mentioned. In those instances, truth bombs are thrown with no [...]
Archive for November, 2009
30 Nov
Exactly as the Founding Fathers Intended
“We should be free to eat Big Macs® and smoke cigarettes on our way to have abortions. This is America, dammit”.
“Mother, do you think this is appropriate conversation for Sunday dinner?”
“Yes I do. I’m sick of people deciding what’s good for other people. Let the idiots be idiots in peace”.
Spoken by an old woman in [...]
30 Nov
No Smoking!
In case you have been living under a rock the past few months then you are aware that Virginia’s smoking ban goes into affect tomorrow and us Café Darkness gals could not be more excited! Who doesn’t appreciate government’s intrusiveness on business owner’s rights to do what they want in their own establishment? I mean! [...]
26 Nov
Black Friday Shopping Guide Part 3
If you love Jesus then you love America, freedom and Black Friday. It’s just that simple. You’ve already learned two of the three tips to having a successful Black Friday: preparation and optimization techniques. You know your basics and you are 2/3 of the way there. Perhaps the most important part of any shopping spree is [...]
25 Nov
Black Friday Shopping Guide Part 2
Do you love Freedom? Do you hate freedom-mongers? Then by transitive reasoning you need to get out there on Black Friday and wear your dollar on your sleeve. Tell the world you are proud to be an American. Do not let the terrorists win! They don’t want you to buy that Fuji FinePix J28 Camera, [...]
24 Nov
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Concerned Coworker: What’s up with your boyfriend? I haven’t heard you talk about him in a while.
Amorous Lady: Oh, I’m not allowed to call him anymore.
Concerned Coworker: Why? Did you break up?
Amorous Lady: Well, not really. I was told I had to stop calling him my sexy boyfriend. I’m not supposed to talk to him [...]
24 Nov
Black Friday Shopping Guide Part 1
Black Friday will here before you know it. It is the most important shopping day of the year and in case you did not know, we are in the middle of the worst recession since the Great Depression. What better way to help bail out the banks than going out and buying a bunch of [...]
23 Nov
Top Five Things I Love About The Holidays!
The CD will use any-and I mean any-reason to have cocktails. Yeah, it’s raining! Time for a ‘tini! Whoo hoo it’s a day that ends in “y”! Wine me! You catch my drift. Everyone knows the Holidays are all about boozing and getting in and out of awkward situations which is why I love it. [...]
19 Nov
An Open Letter to Meade Skelton
Dear Mr. Skelton,
We at Cafe Darkness are huge fans. Well, not literally huge, we’re actually kind of petite, but we’re very big fans in the most figurative sense of that word. We are also loyal fans. By loyal fans, I mean we discovered your music about a month ago and we haven’t been able to stop listening since! [...]
18 Nov
Cat Scratch Fever!
Recently some friends and family have expressed concern over my 24 semi-feral cats. They claim that no one should own 24 cats and to that, I agree. I don’t trust even numbers and 25 is an unlucky number so I am actually going to need 27. Technically I already have 27, but only if you [...]
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