An email exchange from the ladies of CD. Always ladylike, we keep our disagreements civil and find resolutions that are mutually satisfying. Except for when TLW is sweet on her cab driver and the Barista starts bitching about the meter. Or whenever Walmart or the Black Eyed Peas are mentioned. In those instances, truth bombs are thrown with no [...]
Archive for the ‘get back to work’ Category
16 Oct
National Boss’s Day
October 16 is National Boss’s Day It’s a day where employees can kiss-ass worship express their gratitude to the Boss Man for being kind and fair and just. Our bosses have molded us into the men and women we are today. Professionally speaking, at least. I don’t want to know if your boss has ever molded you personally, but there [...]
2 Oct
Flashback Friday!
It’s Friday you guys and I’m so excited I could just do a little jig right here! What will the weekend bring? Will Barista ever write another blog post? (Maybe) Will I go shopping with her credit card and buy myself some goodness? (Absolutely) Will I volunteer my time and give back to the community? (Ha!) [...]
25 Sep
Flashback Friday with Cafe Darkness
Back in the day we blamed it on the rain. Now we blame it on the alcohol. Either way, just don’t blame me because it ain’t my fault! Anywhoos I fucking loved Milli Vanilli when I was a little pup. Then I found out that Milli-or was it Vanilli-was full of shit and they were lip synching. [...]
13 Sep
Doc in the Box
Doc in the Box (hereby known as DB, for douche-bag): What brings you in today?
Barista: I need something for anxiety. I have to fly a few times in the next week and I’m absolutely terrified.
DB: Oh…yeah, I really don’t like prescribing that kind of stuff.
Barista: Um….but it’s what I need.
DB: Well you came to the [...]
10 Sep
Goldfish Flavor Blasters suck
Below is an excerpt from actual conversation I had with a friend yesterday during work hours. To clarify, she goes by Shugs-a term of endearment for us Southern Ladies. It’s short for Sugar-or as we pronounce it “Shugah”. She’s so clever, that she’s named me Shades since, in her opinion, I’m less than forthcoming with my whereabouts [...]
4 Sep
Respecting Labor Day Cafe Darkness style
I, TLW, do solemnly swear to not do any work today. In honor of Labor Day Weekend and my epic hangover from last night’s wine binge with Barista and Company, I do hereby promise to do the following today, September 4, 2009:
Search the internets until I can search it no more. I promise to check [...]
26 Aug
Local area office worker injured, stops working
RICHMOND, VA-Local area office worker, TLW, was stricken with a sudden and painful paper cut earlier this morning forcing her to abandon being productive for the rest of the day. The paper cut occurred during the normally routine task of replacing a file back in its cabinet. “I swear to God this is the deepest [...]
24 Aug
Who knew?
The following are actual searches people used to arrive at Café Darkness:
Hokie Onesie I can’t believe someone actually googled this. That person should be locked up.
UMOT Did I just create a word and didn’t know it? Can I get credit for this? A high five? Pound Dog? Anything?
Unmarried Men over 30 Apparently I’m not the [...]
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