Encouragement for the Bride

Encouragement for the Bride…this is actually a category of greeting cards now available at fine retail stores.  I came across this last night while purchasing a card for a perfectly lovely bride.  I was so utterly confused, I was compelled to read the card.  I imagined it was going to say “I never thought you would snag a man.  Way to go!” or “Even though your commitment ceremony means absolutely no legal commitment has occurred; it’s still a special day”.  Or perhaps it would advise “He’s only going to be incarcerated for 17 months, but your love will last a lifetime”. 

I was horrified to find that it is just a card you can buy for a bride who finds planning her wedding to be a highly stressful activity.  Although I have never encountered one in real life, this card confirmed my suspicion that the mythical bridezilla creature actually exists.  Not only does she exist, but some company did a little R&D and realized they too could turn a profit from these beasts.

Actual card – Sometimes planning a wedding is really stressful, but before you know it, you’ll be happily married.  So please know that it’s okay to relax and take time for yourself, because you are loved and supported.

I vomited on aisle three.  No joke.  I’m not saying that planning a wedding is a piece of almond butter cake.  Families have issues, budgets are blown; a photographer will tell you your dress is unflattering.  But really?  We need a card for this?  How about a card for the recent divorcee (hey hey tlw) that says “Sometimes getting a divorce can be really stressful.  Let me know if you need help with your car insurance next month”.

On second thought, maybe it’s an evil-genius-passive-aggressive way of flipping the bird to a bridezilla.

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