The upcoming holiday has me thinking about all the things I loved that went to the light too soon…so I am going to take this opportunity to honor their special place in my heart via a list. Keep in mind that this list, along with my binge drinking and use of SPF 8 this weekend is in no way meant to detract from the real significance of Memorial Day.
Read this aloud, slowly and solemnly, with the tune of Graduation/Friends Forever in your head. (Don’t even pretend that you don’t know what song I’m talking about…I know it made you cry for three straight weeks).
Farewell babydoll dresses. You were universally flattering, and made me feel zexy yet brainy, like Andrea on 90210, but hotter.
Goodbye Zima. What can I say? You were a great gateway to Boones Farm, which thank the baby Jesus is still with us.
RIP Barbaro. You were the greatest horse I never knew.
Aww…old roommates. I loved waking up to you (Mishmosh) on the front porch, sleeping like a little angel who lost her car and house keys when she stole someone else’s purse and coat. Or helping you (Pringle) carry lounge chairs from the community pool back to our living room so that 10 more people could play speed quarters with us.
Flex Fridays…why did you have to go? I loved my three days weekends like Imelda Marcos loved shoes. You can never have too many of either of these.
Be well Baltimore. The City That Reads closed 7 public libraries the year I got there, hon. We were ready to Believe, until some dude changed the slogan to Be Evil. Mr. Puniverse contests…nuff said.
Hurry back East Bound and Down. I laughed so hard I was able to give up ab workouts.
SARS. Hello Kitty face masks were hot.
Peace out Winston Cup. You will forever remain the last time marketing executives capitalized on smokers’ love of motor sports. Driving left and lighting up? Good times. Using your Nextel two way radio while doing 200 miles an hour? Probably not a bright idea.
Last but not least…sneaking out. Risking life and limb made anything else that followed infinitely more fun. Strolling out of your own house where you pay the mortgage to get up to no good just isn’t the same.
Cheers to the summer of 2009!