To Nap or Not to Nap

Keep them coming at cafedarkness@gmail.com

Dear Cafe Darkness,

It’s Tuesday.  Do you think it’s a good idea or a bad idea to take a nap right here at my desk?

Thanks – Sleepy

Barista says:  I like your spirit, Sleepy.  Tuesdays that kick off the work week are a total stain.  Your entire day will be steeped in confusion about the date, the time, your relationship, where you parked, your career choice, and why there seems to be live music at noon somewhere near 6th and Franklin.  So yes, you should absolutely take a nap at your desk right now; this is a veryvery good idea.  See TLW’s answer below to make sure you are napping properly!

Should you fail to follow her instructions or work with Tsaur, allow me to offer a few excuses you can use if you are caught:

I wasn’t sleeping, I was praying for the speedy confirmation of Judge Sonia Sotomayor.

Napping – no way!  I always get motion sickness when Mercury is coming out of retrograde. Closing my eyes helps.

I’m pregnant.  It’s yours.

Damn swine flu.  Lo siento, trabajo ahora.

The Lone Wolf says: Let me answer your question with a question.  Do you have the napping skills to pull this off?  If the answer is yes, then by all means, put your little head in your hands, daydream about what you’re going to do after five and take yourself a glorious, glorious nap. If the answer is no, then I would strongly caution against such risky behavior without first learning the tools of the napping while at work trade:
 
1. Be aware of your surroundings.  Is your boss off today? If the answer is yes, then you’re golden and proceed to the next rule.  Boss in today?  Oh, no bueno.  If you’re anything like me you have been ducking your manager all morning to avoid awkward chit chat about your weekend.  A pop by is imminent and napping is at a terror alert level of red. 
 
Sidebar-I sometimes fantasize about telling my manager who what I really did over the weekend just to see her reaction. 
 
2. Turn your chair away from public view and put on your headphones.  Everyone will assume you’re intently studying some boring manual and will leave you alone.  Spread some papers out around you.  Put your calculator beside you if you have one.  Have a highlighter within arms reach.  All of these things give the impression of productivity when you are, in reality, dreaming about that hot new man/woman/dog you met over the weekend. 
 
3. Do not snore!  They will know you are napping. 
 
4. Turn the ringer off on your phone.  It will wake you up.
 
If you follow these four napping at work rules then you can enjoy a wonderful work day siesta without fear of getting caught.  Enjoy!

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