One thing I’ve noticed since being back on the dating scene is that men are crazy. I’m not sure what happened from 2004-2008 but guys went from normal to certifiably insane. Maybe it’s too much Death Cab for Cutie. Maybe it’s men wearing skinny jeans. Perhaps Hillary almost getting the democratic nomination told guys it’s okay to cry. Whatever it is, men have gotten too in touch with their emotions and they’re not afraid to show it.
1-New Years Eve guy. Why are you calling me on January 1, 2009 10 minutes after you leave asking me what I’m doing tonight? Wha? Why are you calling my friend and telling her how much you like me? Huh? You don’t even know me-how could you like me? I extra appreciated your 2 AM text of “What are you mad at me or somethin’?” that I got in February.
2-Friend of a Friend’s boyfriend guy. You wonder why I’m not interested when you ask if I want to take tequila shots at 11 on a Tuesday? When I say that I don’t think so, you ask me if I have “somethin’ better to do?” Yes, yes I do. It’s called “Sleep”. You should try it sometime. It’s great. Oh, and then please get offended when you randomly call me like three months later and I don’t know who you are.
3-Bartender. You were pleasant and nice enough but why are you talking about what we can do over the summer on our first date? Our first/last date was in March? Yikes. This scares me. Also you refuse to stop texting like a prison inmate and you have a ring back tone. You’re too old for that.
4-Teacher. Again, nice enough but ohmygod are you crying right now?! Oh my god you are! Omfg I can’t even believe that hanging out and having some drinks is causing you to have such an emotional response! Also, you talk too much about music. I don’t care *that* much about Phish. Thanks!