*Editor’s note-This is the first in a 12 part (or however many I feel like writing) series about Virginia colleges. Before taking offense, please note that these are generalizations and stereotypes and, while they do save time, they are no in way a carte blanche statement about future students, currents students or alumni. I do think it’s kinda true though because otherwise I wouldn’t say it. Thanks!
Virginia Tech fans, more affectionately known as “Hokies” are certifiably the most insane student body population on the planet. Single handedly they support the college sports paraphernalia industry. Without Hokie fans, manufacturers of tokens to remember the “Best Days of Your Life” would be out of business quicker than you could say “Michael Vick loves puppies”.
Most people experience their strongest feelings of collegiate pride while they are actually attending the school (sane). Virginia Tech alumni will actually feel a heightened sense of attachment the longer they have been away from the school (insane). Sidebar-this is similar to UVA alumni and will be discussed in further detail at a later time.
This unnerving phenomenon is why you can identify a former Hokie around town with ease. They will have not only a maroon car (these people should be locked up in a padded cell for this), but also one of those tacky license plate border thingies, a personalized plate (HOKIEGRL, VTLUV, IMAHOKIE, etc), a magnet the size of a small baby emblazoned on each side of their car (available in both football helmet and regular football varieties) and one of those little doo dads you can put on your car antennae.
Visit a Hokie home and visual assault will continue. Rest assured they will have a VT flag proudly on display and a Hokie matt on which they wipe their Hokie feet each night. Enter in of doors and you will find Hokie wine, Hokie Monopoly and a nicely framed picture of the Virginia Tech campus. Regardless of age, you are also guaranteed to find entire set of Hokie beer glasses and Hokie shot glasses (Tech rules!). Have a little future Hokie in the making? Get em’ a Hokie onesie, Beanie Baby or (and I’m not even making this up and I wish I were), a Hokie music mobile.
But seriously, being a lunatic isn’t all bad. After all, these people know how to tailgate like mother effers. My favorite college football game of the year is UVA/Tech game and I cheer for Tech each time, because really, UVA fans are way irritating than Tech fans.
** Up next week we’ll visit my alma mater, James Madison University!