UVA is A-OK

Editors note:  This may be the last of our series on Virginia’s colleges, unless someone can point us in the direction of a group of Longwood students.  They seem to travel solo and are hesitant to speak of their time there.  Oh yeah, this UVA post is not a stereotype or generalization, it is in fact, factual. 

UVA in Charlottesville is the most picturesque campus in all the land.  The students are the brightest and shiniest in Virginia.  The Hoos are undoubtedly the best in the ACC.  Thomas Jefferson and secret societies rock.  Springfest is a highly civilized event, where no one binge drinks or lights anything on fire.  No UVA lady has ever done a walk of shame at 2 pm on a Sunday afternoon.  Everyone there smiles and adheres to the honor code at all times.  If you need assistance, six or seven UVA students will drop what they are doing and come help you solve a calculus equation. Cause they’re all smart and generous like that.  Did I mention that they are all physically fit and attractive? 
Really Important White Guys Who Have Ties to UVA
Really Important White Guys Who Have Ties to UVA

 

UVA graduates are all geniuses who hold every executive and/or senior management position between Richmond, VA and Charlotte, NC.  The gentlemen have excellent taste in ties, and the women are all thin and ageless.  All alumni have the potential to become Governors and excellent golfers. 

I would just like a promotion chance to say that it’s my self important opinion that UVA students and alumni make all Virginians litigious proud.  Godspeed, good sirs and madams of UVA.  Godspeed.

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4 thoughts on “UVA is A-OK

  1. so heres the thing. i would love to see you show up at JMU someday and speak your mind out loud. your a fucking pussy. the only reason your so pissed off is the amount dick that swarms the uva campus. i dont even want to hear the sports shit, who lost to W&M? your whole football team is full of little girls. ive been to uva and it was a fucking joke. the lamest parties ive seen in my life. the ugliest chicks in the world. and preppy little (very nasty word removed by Barista) like yourself

    1. Dear fellow Duke Dog:

      You’re clearly insane.

      Love always,

      TLW

      PS-Do they still do dollar drats at B dubs on Thursdays? Those were so rad.

  2. Was I wrong in thinking this whole post was dripping in sarcasm? I hope not, because I thought it was hilarious.

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