Hi guys. It’s me, The Economy. Oh, what’s that? I’m “crumbling” and “weakening”? Ok, that’s cool. That doesn’t hurt my feelings or anything. You know, I’ll give you the whole high unemployment thing and even that whole real estate fiasco (my accountant told me that it was risky but I didn’t listen) but c’mon guys. I’m sick and fucking tired of getting blamed for everything under the god damn sun. Oh what’s that? That stupid “Boom Boom Pow” song stuck in your head again? Yep, that’s my fault. You haven’t gotten laid in a while? Well blame me for that too, I guess. Makes sense to me.
Why just this morning I’m doing my normal morning routine: drinking a cup of Joe and catching up on my headlines and see this bullshit. What. The. Fuck. This takes the goddamn cake. Are you fucking kidding me? Have you ever heard of a little something called recycling? I guess not! I guess no one has “gone green” around here lately which could maybe explain the decrease in garbage in this god forsaken state. Apparently less trash is a bad thing all of a sudden. Okay, that makes sense. Right on!
And you know what else, fuckers? Did I even get one thank you note in the mail when I lowered gas prices back in the fall? No. Not even a “thanks for that” shout out on Facebook. Selfish assholes. All y’all did last summer was bitch and moan about how much it cost to fill up, I can’t go on my summer vacation, blah blah blah. So what do I do for you ungrateful pricks? I fix that shit like wow back last fall. I drop that shit to under $2.00 a gallon. What kind of thanks do I get? Slumping retail sales at the holidays blamed on guess who? Yep, me. Well fuck you, too.
You know what I’m going to do? I’m taking a break from this crap. Seriously. I’m out of here for a little while. I’m going to Costa Rica for a while to just recenter myself. I’m over this bullshit. I’m gonna chill out on the beach, smoke some herb and just let you assholes figure this shit out for yourselves. I’ll be back in September. Peace out, fuckers!