Location:Easy Street on a Friday night like two weeks ago. It’s maybe 10:00 ish. Those in attendance:Mr. and Mrs. Barista and myself. In case you were wondering, the chicken fingers were my first choice but they were out so instead I got some spinach and artichoke dip (yums! ) and some vino. (yes!) Vibe: Super weird but I was hungry so I didn’t care.
A supreme tenderoni of a young man saunters up and asks me (and I quote here): Wow is that spinach and artichoke dip that you’re eating?
Me-wanting to eat that GD dip and not mess with this youngster: Why no. No, it’s not. It’s a little crystal meth and crack combo. It’s really quite good. Want to try some?
Him-getting a little nervous: Oh…ah…cool…so you like drugs, then?
Me- now getting into this: Yeah sure, who doesn’t?
Him-thinking he could maybe get laid: Well, I like to smoke pot!
Me-growing weary and wanting to just eat some more dip: Oh? Just pot, huh? Lame. Hey listen, why are there so many dorky young people here?
Him: We’re all in MCV medical school!
Me: Oh, did y’all just pass some big nose exam or something?
Him (scared and frightened): Oh…I mean…..no…not really?
Me: Could you give me a pelvic exam later?
Him (trying to desperately escape): Oh. Wow. Yeah I mean we haven’t really learned that yet? So no….I guess not?
Me, now feeling slightly bad but not bad enough: Too bad. I could’ve used one. I was told I didn’t have the clap but am now questioning those test results.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand End Scene!
That ladies and gentlemen is how you make sure that they well aware that you definitely *not* interested. You’re welcome and g’night!
The Barista can’t let the scene end just yet. While TLW speaks the truth about the young lad she frightened, the night didn’t exactly end there. Some time and many many more Doogie Howser’s later, we decided that Easy Street was not for us and that we had to move on, i.e. call it a night. The Lone Wolf literally howled in protest and frightened small children throughout the Fan with her curses upon married people’s bedtimes and Lifetime Television for Women. Learning point for the Barista? Do not interrupt a hungry and thirsty lone wolf. Distract it with another glass of wine; call it a cab, and shuffle out.