more fan mail

Dear Cafe Darkness,

How come I drank with The Lone Wolf last weekend, but the next day I had to stay in bed most of the day sick, and then proceeded to have a 2 day hangover – when – the lonewolf sprinted off the couch and headed to meet someone for afternoon drinks, then met more people that night for drinks?  How is this possible?

Answer:  The Lone Wolf’s customary diet consists primarily of red wine and strange tail.  After a particularly large feast, a lone wolf can store up to 7 liters of H2o in reserves in it’s paws to aid in replenishing it’s energy throughout the day.

When the lone wolf identifies new prey, it will frolic and dance around to Lady Gaga’s hit Beautiful, Dirty, Rich, and bow by placing the front of its body down to the ground, while holding the rear high, sometimes wagged. 

A lone wolf  that taps into it’s adrenaline supply (i.e., sugar-free Red Bull) is virtually unstoppable.

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2 thoughts on “more fan mail

  1. Everything in this post is 100%. The proper combination of Sugar Free Red Bull, red wine and Marlboro lights allows one to accomplish amazing feats of strength and bravery.

  2. Yes, yes it does. However, the Barista recommends 42 oz of coffee, two of my own healthy Bloody Mary’s (add more lemon and celery) and a little Timberlake-Timbaland noise before attempting to move mountains. This combination will cure a hangover every time.

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