Oh me so horny, me love you long time

Actual conversation via text message that occurred this afternoon:

Him-What time will you want to start partying?  (Translation-What time can I head up to Richmond, get drunk and sex you?)

Me-Did you mean to send this to me?  Did we have plans?   (Translation-I may be a slut but I’m not your slut. You’re like a paycheck-around for just a little bit once every two weeks and I’m donezo).

Him-Cowboy Junkies. Are you cancelling?  (Translation-Please don’t cancel. I already bought the tix and want sexy time).

Me-Is it cancelling if we didn’t have plans? 🙂   (Translation-get lost) Please note-use of saracastic smiley face-one of my favs.

Him-It’s all good.  (Translation-You’re such a bitch).

Instead of hanging out with that guy, The Lone Wolf and Barista will be frequenting any number of haunts in Shockoe Slip drinking copious amounts of alcohol in celebration of all the nice things that have been sent our way via Cafe Darkness in the last few days.  We’ll be the ladies ordering multiple woo-woos.  Feel free to catch up with us as we probably owe more than a few of you (Tobacco Ave, The Checkout Girl) some liquid cheer.

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5 thoughts on “Oh me so horny, me love you long time

  1. I’m going to see The Hangover. Is it any good? Because 57 fucking people haven’t been telling me I should see it.

    But that’ll be out around 10 so let me know if you’re still out. tobaccoavenue at gmail.

  2. Ah I so relate to this post. I had a guy who was like that–tried to communicate soley through text, never made plans, just messaged at the last minutes.

  3. So, let me sum up what happened last night… after the Cowboy Junkies show and after you two were a few shots deep with your messy hair and your googly-eyes:
    Text from the guy: Where u at?
    You: {some bar in the bottom}
    Him: Can I meet you?
    You: You wish.
    Him: I’m coming down there
    You: [talking to Barista] OMG he’s coming down here.
    Barista: Fuck that guy
    You: [texting] Okay.
    Barista: You’re a slut
    You: But I’m a HORNY slut.

    The end.

    1. TLW and Barista kept it PG last night.

      No shenanigans really to speak of except getting into a verbal arguement with a homeless guy. He wanted me to give him a dollar because I took my picture with his stuffed animal Kitty Cat Lion he had propped up on a ledge. All par for the course, really.

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