Mommy Dearest

Not my mom....but someone's mom.
Not my mom....but someone's mom.

I love my mom. No, really. I really do. She put a lot of work into raising TLW into the fine lady I am today and for that, I’m eternally grateful but lately mom has been acting a little cra cra.  She fancies calling me at night with the most bizarre and random questions I’ve ever heard.  This is especially awkward when, as Grandma would say, I’m “keeping company” and it’s an inopportune time to get to the phone Ahem.    

Every phone call is a  911 emergency.  Just last night she left me message stating that it was important that I, “call her back right away! What was I doing that I couldn’t answer my phone!?!”. 

Sensing the urgency I waited until this morning to call.   Her question?  What’s going to happen to Jon and Kate + 8 now that they’re divorcing? How are they going to work that out? What about the kids? I’m confused about how they’re going to do the show from now on?  Other questions she has asked me in the past six months are as follows:

What’s Twitter? How does it work? Why would you  twitter?  What’s the difference between a tweet and a twitter? What would I say if I were on twitter?  You know that Ashton Kutcher?  He’s on Twitter.  He apparently tweets quite often! 

What’s Facebook? Are you on Facebook? Who are your friends on Facebook?  Can I be on Facebook? Would you be my friend if I were on Facebook? 

Who is Miley Cyrus?  Who is Hannah Montana? Are they the same person?  When does Miley Cyrus become Hannah Montana?    What’s the difference? 

What is text messaging? How does it work?  How do numbers become letters? How does my phone get text messages?  How do you read a text message? Could I text message you? Could you text message me? Would we be texting if I sent you a text message?

What’s a blog?  How does it work? What do they do?  Do you have a blog? Do I? Would you read my blog if I had one? Could I read yours?

 ……and so on and so on ad nauseum into infinity.  It’s fine though. I really don’t mind answering her very important questions. After all she did grow me in her bellers for months so I guess answering her questions about sexting and Scientology are the least I can do.

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2 thoughts on “Mommy Dearest

  1. I think we’re the last two people on the planet to not be tweeting. I feel like my mom when I ask the question but I don’t understand it? Ha!

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