TGIF y’all. It’s Friday so it’s time to reach into our reader mailbag and answer your most burning questions. Note-if it burns when you pee, you may need a shot of penicillin.
Dear Cafe Darkness,
I am contemplating stealing the most perfect looking spaghetti I have ever seen from the refrigerator on the first floor of my office building. I have never stolen a lunch before; but this gorgeous pasta is a like temptress luring me to Buenos Aires. What should I do?
Yes – I really am thinking of stealing this lunch.
Hangry in the West End
I totally get it. You’re starvin marvin from boozing too much last night and all you want is heavily carb laden meal, a cig and then maybe a nap. Trust, I’ve spent many a Friday in the office dreaming of the perfect hangover meal. (Steak and Cheese sub with extra mayo for TLW).
However, even though you are H to the Izzo, stealing someone’s lunch is something that not even this morally questionable lady would do. I implore you to not steal this lunch. Instead, take a two hour lunch break and leisurely enjoy the meal of your dreams. Once you get back to the office you’ll be so sleepy and contended that you can internet the rest of the work day away before you go out and do it all over again.
Always truly yours,