From the reader mailbag…

TGIF y’all.  It’s Friday so it’s time to reach into our reader mailbag and answer your most burning questions.  Note-if it burns when you pee, you may need a shot of penicillin.

Dear Cafe Darkness,
I am contemplating stealing the most perfect looking spaghetti I have ever seen from the refrigerator on the first floor of my office building.  I have never stolen a lunch before; but this gorgeous pasta is a like temptress luring me to Buenos Aires.  What should I do?
Yes – I really am thinking of stealing this lunch.

With love,

Hangry in the West End


Dear Hangry,
I totally get it.  You’re starvin marvin from boozing too much last night and all you want is heavily carb laden meal, a cig and then maybe a nap.  Trust, I’ve spent many a Friday in the office dreaming of the perfect hangover meal. (Steak and Cheese sub with extra mayo for TLW). 

However, even though you are H to the Izzo, stealing someone’s lunch is something that not even this morally questionable lady would do.  I implore you to not steal this lunch.  Instead, take a two hour lunch break and leisurely enjoy the meal of your dreams.  Once you get back to the office you’ll be so sleepy and contended that you can internet the rest of the work day away before you go out and do it all over again.

Always truly yours,



3 thoughts on “From the reader mailbag…

  1. Speaking of steak and cheese, which place around town has the best? Lots of places serve them but sometimes they just taste like wood.

  2. Not long ago a coworker stole and devoured my delicous lunch I had purchased only hours earlier that morning at Ukrops. All morning long I thought about my soon to be delicious ukrops chicken salad sandwich on a croissant only to realize that someone had themselves to my tasty sandwich instead. Needless to say , I was not pleased. I found out later that afternoon who it was and decided based on that person mental capacity and my small drama filled office, I decided against it. But it hasn’t stopped me from using a self bought gigantic black magic marker to write my name ALL OVER MY LUNCH. Had this been someone with some aspect of intelligence I would have handled things much differently. Moral of the story: don’t steal people’s lunches!

  3. Best Steak and Cheese in town = Mojos. So delicious. So very very delicious. Stuffy’s will do in a pinch as will Steak and Fry at Regency but neither hold a candle to Mojos in my humble opinion.

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