take a number, TLW

Dear TLW,

I have received your prayer request.  Your approximate wait time is 20 minutes.  You are currently behind Barista, who is asking for strength and patience to not choke a bitch today.  Her Barefoot Coworker has over shared the following information this morning:

  • She loves to watch bats eat bugs out of a pool at night.  So do her kids.  That’s why the fambily didn’t mind having a bat in their home on Saturday.  She just hollered for the cat to take care of it.  When the cat failed to do his job, she trapped the bat in a pair of her sweatpants and left it in her basement.
  • She ate oatmeal for breakfast this morning, and vomited before she came to work.
  • She made a GYN appointment this morning for her oft-recurring yeast infections.  She assumed that hearing one-side of that conversation was not enough, so she repeated it in detail to the entire office.  Then Barefoot followed up with a meeting request sent to everyone documenting her appointment info.  The Barista declined the invitation to attend that fun-fest.

Your Higher Power,

GOD

PS – You are right on with your bar guide.  Thanks for the chuckle.   Hee hee, lobster-pants.  I’ll be speaking with Vineyard Vines about that shortly.

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