An Amber Alert was issued yesterday, June 29th, at approximately 6:35 pm in the Museum District. One (1) pillowcase was discovered missing when its owner attempted to make her bed after doing a load of laundry on Monday evening. The last sighting of said pillow case was when it entered the dryer in the laundry room of a local apartment complex.
The owner describes the pillow case as pink and, “super cozy”. Although the owner does not think the pillow case ran away, she does think it’s possible that it’s not missing at all, but rather is somehow folded up in that god damn duvet cover, which was also laundered last night. “[The duvet cover] is like a black hole, I swear to God. Stuff just gets rolled up in there and I don’t even know it” she stated last night to authorities. Continued the owner, “But if it’s not in there, then what the fuck am I going to do with just one pillow case? Jesus Christ”.
The owner is currently offering a reward of a high five and a hug. Police are asking anyone with any information to please contact Crime Stoppers at firstname.lastname@example.org.