is there an app for that?

Me and TLW are waiting patiently for the following apps that will:

walk the dogs

mute Tsaur

make us sandwiches

do the laundry

interpret and gauge our mother’s moods

drive us home after cocktails

locate lost items

explain and join twitter and make tweets for us

let us control the time-space continuum

give us payday loans

hit snooze five times in the morning

check our voice mail and reminds callers we prefer texts

make lines move super fast

banish men in tapered skinny jeans from our sight 

tell Lady Gaga and Gene Cox to be our friends

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