TLW is officially in luuuuuuv. Amazing, right? Several failed relationships and one bad marriage had left me skeptical about the entire concept of “love” and its ability to transform ones life. That is until Saturday when I met and instantly fell in love with my soul mate.
I met the new love of my life at the AT&T store on the corner of Libby and Broad at approximately 2 pm EST on Saturday, July 18th. The moment I saw him I knew the connection was there for both of us and it was intense. Granted this soul mate may or may not be a living, breathing person. This soul mate may be, in fact, a cell phone, but don’t you judge me! This is no ordinary cell phone. It’s an iPhone and I have named him Billy Mays in memoriam of the best salesman the world has ever seen. RIP Billy.
I knew I was going to meet Billy Mays before I even met Billy Mays. I had a really good feeling when I walked into that cell phone store on Saturday. I had an even better feeling when the sales girl exclaimed, “Girl, hell yes you can get a cell phone! The one you have now is straight busted! Look at that ghetto ass phone. Dayum!” “Do you think I’ll be able to make phones calls inside with this new phone like normal people?” I asked. “Girl, puulease! You can do whatever the hayell you want with this phone!”. I was already convinced and knew I would be taking Billy home with me that day. “Alright, sweet. Let’s do this”. And with that she brought out Billy Mays in all of his wonderful glory. “Oh my god!” I said. “Billy Mays is amazing!”. “Girl I told you. You can do shit with this phone you couldn’t even dream of before! You on Facebook?” she asked. “Oh yeah, for sure” I replied. “Girl, please. I’m on Facebook-we should be friends, look me up-but that’s not the point. You can get on Facebook on your phone now. Youknowwhatimsayin? “Yeah, I think I get what you’re throwing out there. And I like it. I like it a lot”.
Once Billy Mays and I got home we got to know each other a little bit better. Apparently Billy Mays is also an Aquarius and enjoys the same kind of stuff I do: talking on my phone inside, text messaging and internetting at my own convenience. We really are a match made in heaven. I think this is it. TLW is no longer on the dating scene. I’m a one phone kinda gal and Billy Mays is the phone for me.