I’ve come to the conclusion that T Saur is the Missing Link to Evolution. If scientists looked inside the primordial ooze that is his brain they would be able to see the brain of Cro-Magnon Man. They could observe how he figured out how to use tools, make fire and start to use reason and logic to problem solve.
There are few things as epic as going out for some drinks and coming home with the most awesome snow globe ever. I knew the moment I laid eyes on it would endlessly entertain me while stoned while I sat at home being a responsible adult.
Why does my car always smell like crayons? Seriously. A buddy of mine also has a Volkswagen and his car always smells like crayons, too. Is this some type of evil genius in German engineering of which I’m not aware?
“Birthday Sex” may be the best song ever. The first time I heard it I was “WTF is this guy talking about?”. Now I know. He’s talking about how it’s his ladies’s birthday and he doesn’t need candles or cake to treat her right. All they need is sexy times-on the kitchen stove or the table-to make her day a Special Day.
Currently there are a record of three (3) employee-made signs in the break room of my office telling people to be courteous to their coworkers and to make more coffee when it’s low (!), reminding people that the sink does not have a disposal and to put your garbage in the trashcan (!) and finally to mark your food before you put it in the fridge-this includes water bottles (!) I’m wondering what my breaking point is until I put up my own sign that reads, “Go fuck yourself” (!).
I literally saw the blind leading the blind the other day. Blind Woman said to Blind Man, “I lost my cell phone and can’t find it”. Seems like an awkward position to be in.