Troubling reports have surfaced in the last several days claiming that the Barista has not been spotted drinking or out past 8 pm in four (4) days. Some bartendersanalysts suspect that the travel to Raleigh may explain her absence in the RVA, while others speculate that the Barista has more likely been kidnapped.
“I always spy her out at least once between Monday and Wednesday, without fail. I think this Raleigh story is a total cover-up. I bet some Mormon is staging an intervention with her right now”, was what a really awesome bartender at City Limit did not say.
“I heard that she turned down a free beer on Tuesday night, claiming she was at a work dinner and needed a clear head. That’s all the proof I needed that something has gone terribly wrong” says a close friend, who affirms she will choose to remain the Barista’s close friend even if she did pass on a free beer. “I bet she is really, really sick. Or she sang a Celine Dion song at karaoke again and is in hiding for a few weeks. Either way, I hope she’s okay”, added the good friend.
TLW confirmed to Cafe Darkness exclusively that she has spoken to the Barista, but that she shares in the concerns of the general public. “I’m trying to make her skip a class tonight to meet me for drinks and she’s being shady!” she exclaimed. “She said she’ll meet me after she finishes. I can always get her to blow off her classes without asking twice. She always caves, but she sounded pretty serious about meeting me around nine (9) tonight”.
TLW advises “If you see the Barista, approach her slowly with a woo woo and a lit cig in hand. Make eye contact and speak in soothing tones. She will not be able to resist. Then hit me up on Twitter. I’ll come get her and maybe take your picture with Billy Mays (new iPhone) as a reward”.