I’m sure y’all are wondering what T Saur’s been up to this week. Besides hounding Barista to explain the fairly simple concept of regional markets, he’s been having love problems. He’s straight lovelorn!
On Monday he was so excited to go out with his night manager girlfriend, i.e. Shorty. They were going to go the movies! Maybe that Bow Tie Cinemas! Then they were going to kick it back to his place where he was going to bring his “A game”. (I’ll pause here while the nausea passes). I asked him if he was sure she would show up since she fancies making plans and then cancelling those plans. He got indignant and said of course she would show! She had finally “come around” and was she was totally his girlfriend. I asked him if she knew she was his girlfriend and he said they had yet to officially discuss the topic, but he was fairly certain she was aware that she was his girlfriend. I advised him that this is a clear cut issue and you more than likely would not want to have any gray areas. Perhaps he should have “The Talk” with her tonight, that is if she shows up? I further explained that it’s kind of like being prego-either you are or aren’t-and you should know what your modus operandi is, if you know what I’m sayin’? I think one of his neurons emitted a very weak signal to another neuron because he appeared to marginally understand what I laying down.
Unfortunately all of my advice was for naught! He didn’t have the opportunity to clarify his relationship status with Shorty cause she didn’t show up. On Tuesday morning I asked him how it went and that’s when he had to break it down and admit that I was right, she’s totally not his gf. I thought he was going to cry but I was too busy being right to care notice.
Now before you to start to feel sorry for T Saur and wonder why he’s so unlucky in love please note he’s already got a date lined up for tonight! It’s his Shorty from Virginia Beach. She has two kids from two different baby daddies, is unemployed, and currently has a boyfriend-I guess they already had “The Talk”–and has a tongue piercing! I didn’t think these were legal past 1999 but what do I know! T’s always keeping it classy. This is going to be a hot mess and I can’t wait until Shorty 2.0’s boyfriend finds out that his gf is screwing T and he hops in his Mustang to beat the crap out of him. I’ve got my money on that guy!