I thought 2009 was supposed to be a totally rad year for me. If this is the Year of Aquarius then the Universe must have one twisted sense of humor and I’m ovah her fun and games. Let’s get this show on the road and bring on 2010 already. Being the celestial favorite sucks balls and I’m donezo. I’m not even talking about my lack of paycheck (I’m one bottle of pinot away from setting up shop on the corner of Thompson & Patterson) or Billy Mays passing away (RIP, Billy-your spirit lives on in your namesake).
I’m talking about the mother of all middle fingers. The Queen Bee of up yours. And that’s Gene Cox leaving the 11 pm news cast. WHAT. THE. FUCK. You have got to be kidding me. Gene leaving the 11 pm newscast is clearly him slowly dipping his foot into the world of retirement and to that I say, “Stop right there, Gene. Don’t you even think about it”. What am I going to do if Gene leaves Channel 12 all together to spend his golden years curing cancer and suckling motherless baby bunnies? Who is going to blatantly misread the teleprompter on the daily and not give a rip? Who’s going to roll his eyes at the ridiculous local idiots who make it on air?
Without Gene by her side Sabrina’s just another news anchor who apparently is incapable of aging and has pretty hair. I was able to get over Terrell Brown leaving because all he gave me was one kick ass snow angel in thigh high boots. Meh, I guess I still have the Jenks to give me tips on how to make bottle bombs and surviving the police academy. Sunni Blevins is still around with the best name ever and is about cute as god damn button. Regardless, NBC 12 you are on notice-the Cox leaving Channel 12 all together is more than I can handle. I’ve had a rough year and I can’t take much more.