I’m Just Not Liable

An open letter in response to TLW’s open letter to the Barista re: Friday Night

Dear TLW,

Please stop using big words when we are drunk.  I will agree with anything you say that I don’t understand because I’m more focused on trying to secretly get us more woo woos and keep our party going than I am with asking things like who the hell is Nietzsche? I thought you were just cussing in German at that point.  I’ll go Wikipedia that name when I’m done writing this post and hope for your sake you meant that as a compliment.  For the record, I’m an extrovert, not a nihilist, but I’ll look that one up too to be certain.

Normally I could get on board with watching you start a riot, but we were at that bar.  You remember?  Just a fortnight ago at that bar, I was punched in the face for being fascinated by someone else’s riot.  By my deductive reasoning, another riot at that bar…started by a girl who was clearly having a bad day…my keen interest…meant you were about 5 minutes from punching me in the face.  You see why I took a detour.

Hey, remember like 10 minutes before we got to that bar we saw that guy who told us not to be scared and then he showed us his Kool-Aid dance for the bargain price of $1.40?  Yeah, that was funny!  I really loved it when he ran in front of Mr. Barista’s truck, nearly killing himself, to tell Mr. Barista that he needed to stop breaking the law and buckle up.  Anyway, that’s the dude who drove our cab home two hours later.  I’m surprised you didn’t recognize him.

I promise I’ll be a better friend next time and I totally look forward to doing the Kool-Aid dollar dance at yours and the cabbie’s wedding reception.




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