These two very distinct and very bizarre instances occurred just moments apart from each other minutes after the Barista and TL Dubs parted ways after lunch this very afternoon.
Incident #1: A very angry woman verbally berates her downtrodden male companion. For several city blocks she screams at him, walks ahead of him, then next to him once again before bumming a cigarette off a complete stranger. Upon lighting her tobacco product she yells, “YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT BECAUSE YOU AIN’T GOT SHIT!” and then walks away from her partner once more.
Incident #2: While in line waiting to pay for my purchase at a convenience store a seemingly normal looking elderly woman cuts me in line. Not wanting to get back to work any sooner than necessary I let the faux pas pass without incident. The elderly woman screams at the cashier, “CIGARS! PLEASE! I’M GOING TO DIE!” and then throws several coins on the counter. Not having enough money for her cigars which were really cigarettes she implored that I donate a quarter to her cause. I oblige. “THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS QUARTER! I WAS GOING TO DIE WITHOUT THIS CIGAR” at which point she hobbles out of the town and down the street.