Mea culpa, y’all. I apologize! I guess I didn’t realize how sensitive some men could be about their marital status and age. Put that in the “now I know” category. Sheesh! I guess I figured since we had been stereotyping and generalizing our way through the summer that we could continue to do so, but I guess not. Lesson learned! Never again will I make assumptions based on age, marital status or gender. I swear it!
Things that are apparently still okay to make fun of:
Colleges! No one got their boxer briefs in a bunch when we made fun of Hampden Sydney, UVA, JMU, Randolph Macon, VCU or Virginia Tech. I guess we’ll have to find some more generalizations to make about other schools that we know less about-like William & Mary (what do people do there? Find me someone to interview who got drunk there and that will be our next post!), Virginia Union (I can’t think of much to make fun of here, can you?-that’s what I thought!) or Radford (being the school with the highest rate of STDs isn’t easy!)
Entire regions of the RVA! Lord have mercy, I really let Down Town Short Pump really have it. No problems there! Next area we’ll make fun of: The Southside! We’ll talk about how they have an inferiority complex to people who live in the West End and why this makes no sense because they’re identical. Then we’ll make fun of failed Downtown revitalization projects! Yeah!
Men-but don’t mention their age or marital status! Check and check! Short pants are kosher, as are douche bags at bars as evidenced here, here and finally here. Oh and here, too. I’ll make sure from now on that I don’t talk about whether they’re married, divorced, separated or “it’s just complicated”. Furthermore I make this solemn vow to never mention their age either. We’ll just assume they’re all over 50 since I’m 30.
Alright everyone. Let’s hug it out. If we need to do trust falls, we will. Some “when you say (blank), I feel (blank)”s may also be in order. We’ll just have to wait and see. Let’s get this relationship back to good!