Greetings from leadership class! Boy oh boy have I been busy here! I don’t even know where to start! I guess the first thing I’ve learned is that all leaders are birds. That’s right – birds! You can be a dove, a peacock, an owl or an eagle. Leaders can fly far, far away from here any time they want and nobody can call them names anymore. No more “bossy”; you are now an owl. You get night vision!!! You don’t “resist change”. You are a dove who loves everyone. You are not “full of yourself”, you’re a pretty peacock! Controlling? Nah, you’re a friggin eagle! You have talons and get your picture on money! Personally, I’m a very rare bird, the mythical Peagle. I tell people what to do and then I soar away to mountain tops and enjoy a feast of the slow and the weak. It might sound like that’s a bad thing, but I was taught today that deep down, they know I only do it for their own good.
I also learned about conflict resolution. You can “accommodate” people by letting them write really terrible things about you on the internets without stopping them. You can also avoid conflict altogether by pretending you have meetings and conference calls and marathons to run whenever someone you don’t like approaches you. I told my teachers that I’m a subject matter expert when it comes to avoidance and they gave me a gold star. Then they tried to tell us another way to resolve your troubles, but none of us could say the phrase correctly so we just forgot about it and moved on. It was a funny sounding word…comprimrose….co-promise…compromishiznit…who knows? It made me giggle. I bet you’ve never heard of such a thing either!
Anywho, it’s almost lights-out time so I’ve gotta go. But I’ll be back real soon. Don’t start any fires while I’m gone. I don’t want to miss out on a thing!