Top 5 Vacation Tips! Or, how can I miss you if you won’t go away?

They get it
They get it

Café Darkness has been serving up the good stuff on the regs all summer, but even we need a vacation. Yes, folks, you heard it that right.  Barista and TLW are going to be off the radar starting Wednesday and we won’t be back until Sunday! 

In preparation for our trip below you will find the top 5 ways to enjoy your own vacation!

1-Drink whilst doing everything! This is fairly self-explanatory but it I feel the need to mention it nonetheless. Everything from lounging on the beach to lazying about in a hammock to floating about in the pool should be done with drink in hand.  You will retain a decent buzz throughout your vacation and avoid a hangover at the same time.  Note: The hangover you’ll have on Sunday will be epic so mentally prepare for that one ahead of time.

2-Use protection!  No, I’m not talking about connies, silly! I’m talking about sunscreen!  I can’t stress this enough.  Everyone knows how bad the sun can be for your skin.  I personally use tanning oil with an SPF of 4 maximum.  I’m not trying to get all burned and nasty but I don’t want to be Casper the Friendly Ghost either.  It’s all about moderation! 

3-Bring your own drugs!  The last thing you want to do once you arrive at your destination is spend half the day trying to score some pot.  It’s a total stain. It’s much easier to just bring it with you and put it in the glove compartment. That way, if you get pulled over and you need to get your registration then you’ll remember your drugs are right there and you won’t freak out wondering where your stash is!

4-Make sure you have some good beach reads! One of the best ways to really unwind is to catch up on all the reading you’ve put off all year.  A couple of great books to read while at the beach:

Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov.  Nothing relaxes me like a child predator.  Meow!

Gravity’s Rainbow, Thomas Pynchon.  What better way to unwind than a novel with over 400 characters?  Yes!

Ulysses, James Joyce.  Stream of consciousness, much? An entire book in the day of the life of Leopold Bloom?  Hard to follow? Even harder to like? Hello! Order up!  I’ll take two, please!

5-Stay connected!  Most people turn off their blackberry and just “unplug” while on vacation.  This is the biggest mistake you can make!  By constantly checking your work email and messages you’ll constantly stay abreast of issues that can not control or fix and maintain a steady level of agitation throughout your trip! 

Stay classy, RVA.  We’ll back in full effect next week!

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