Yeah, this may sound like I’ve lost my mind, but bear with me. Or judge me mercilessly for the stupidity of this post to which I will say, what did you expect? I’m hungover.
1. A morning eye-opener. If you are not an experienced binge-drinker, you may be thinking of an eye-opener as a steaming shower or a hot cup of Joe. While these are good practices in general, I’m talking about a hair-of-the-dog-that-bit you eye-opener. What’s your poison? Beers? Vodka? Have a little bit of whatever you had the night before and you will be right as rain. Or just go with a Bloody Mary right away. Kettle OneLycopene is a hell of an anti-oxidant.
2. A Greasy Breakfast. Richmond has a plethora of options for the perfect hangover breakfast – Joe’s Inn, Starlight, Millie’s (omg yum), but you are likely on your way to work during most of your hangovers. Therefore, I recommend my favorite breakfast sandwich of all-time: a chicken, egg and cheese biscuit from Chik-fil-A. It’s not on the menu. You have to request this precious golden combo. It brings a tear to my eye it’s so good.
3. Bold fashion statements. When hungover, it’s easy to forget that you are a professional and that you should look the part. If you’re like me, you will put on the most random assortment of clothes possible and convince yourself that you should dress this way more often. Yesterday I was channeling Jackie-O. Today I am Phoebe from Friends. It’s probably not my best look, but I’m too hungover to care. I’m patting myself on the back for remembering to use conditioner in my hair. Just a few minutes ago I saw a guy from IT wearing pin-striped suit pants , a polo shirt and his Hokies visor. We exchanged a fist-bump.
4. Caffeine. A stimulant will do very strange things to your fragile, weakened body. When hungover, I like to have as many caffeinated drinks as I did cocktails the night before. When the caffeine kicks in, I will shake and sweat in uncomfortable places. I’ll talk too fast and laugh inappropriately, in short barks much like a hyena. In short, I’m really annoying. It makes the all the crazy peeps downtown steer clear of me. I can walk around in peace. If you work in the city you understand how rare and pleasant this can be.
5. _________________ Fill in the blank. Another perk? Apathy. You finish this list. Yawn. I’m going to go stare at my cube wall for awhile.