Oh hey, there Monday. What’s shaking? You know what I love about you? That you don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks. You’re all, “Suck it bitches. I hate you, too”. You’re a bad ass and that’s to be applauded.
If you were an 80’s band you would totally be The Cure-all sad and introspective and “Oh woe is me”. I like The Cure and I like you, too. You’re looking good today, Monday. Nice and rainy and overcast. Gothic Sexy! I’m wearing all black and extra eye liner just for you today.
Omg, Monday-thank you by the way. It was so cool to get to work and see that T Saur was already here! No, really. That hasn’t happened yet since I get to work at seven thirty (ish) and he doesn’t come in until 8:30-but what a great way to start off my work week. He already had his bag of Cheetos that he will manage to munch on for the next two hours which will also exacerbate his throat clearing. Cool beans!
I’m sure you haven’t forgotten about awkward Monday morning chit chat! Quite possibly this is the highlight of my work week. My manager comes around and asks everyone how their weekend was and judges their responses accordingly. I get nervous and over share while she silently questions her hiring choices. “I got hammered on Saturday night! But at least I didn’t drive, right?!. Ha!”
I’m already looking forward to later today when I go to the gym and grocery store-they’ll be super crowded and annoying. I love fitnessing within a foot someone else with excessive perspiration issues. I also heart having to excuse myself thirty five times while buying my three food items for the week.
Alright, Monday. I better run. It looks like you scheduled some sweet nine o’clock meeting for me to attend so I better internet right quick prepare! Talk to you soon!