Table for one, please!

All of my friends are either married or engaged to be married.  All of them.  Every.  Single.  One.  Well scratch that, I have some gay friends that aren’t married but that’s just because they aren’t allowed. This never ceases to amaze me because, in my humble opinion, gay people have just as much right to be married and miserable as straight people, but I digress.  Zing! 

Anywhoos, because I’m the only one out and about on the scene, my friends take a keen and acute interest in my dating life.  No question is too personal or crosses the line of TMI.  I try to answer them as honestly as possible, but will get accused of either being shady or a bad storyteller 99.99% of the time. 

Questions I receive on the regs are as follows:  who am I dating, how’s it going,  when can we meet him, where have you gone, how did we meet, where is he from, what does he do, what does he look like, where did he go to school, have you had sexy times, was it good sexy times, were the sexy times better or worse than (fill in the blank), why was that, when can we meet him, if you had to compare him to someone famous who would that be, when do you think we’ll meet him, have you met his friends, what’s his place like, do you like him, does he like you, he isn’t anything like ex husband is he, do you think you’ll see him again, will you bring him to (fill in the blank upcoming event), why not, why can’t we ever meet these guys, does this person really exist, are you ashamed of us, are you scared to bring guys around to meet us, WHY CAN’T MEET THIS GUY?!

My hesitance to bring guys I’m “dating” (and I use that term veeeeeery loosely) around my friends is not because of them.  I heart them!  It’s because I don’t see the need to introduce Guy-For-Just-Right-Now to all 50 of my friends, their husbands, kids and extended families. It seems like a waste of energy and I can’t be so bothered. It’s easier to just speak in vague terms of: This Guy, That Guy, No That Other One.  Maybe if one is around for longer than a fortnight we’ll talk. Until then, it’s just TLW, y’all!  Plus also, it’s fun to confuse them with a myriad of names, facts and details that not even I can keep straight.


7 thoughts on “Table for one, please!

    1. It will be hard for you to meet someone who doesn’t exist; but if he did I would bring him over next Tuesday.
      We will put him in a circle and interrogate him until he breaks down and cries. Then we’ll build him back up. Just like the Army!

  1. I think your secret boyfriend might be Andy Jenks. The Lone Wolf Jenks, has a nice ring to it. And yes I think Supper Club is the perfect setting for AJ to make his debut.

  2. Head North of the Mason-Dixon. People get married after 30 and dont give a f**k who you’re making sexy times with that week. Just be careful of their gold chains getting caught in your hair.

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