Holy Shirazmataz, y’all. The Jenks is following Café Darkness on Twitter and he complimented our style! I don’t think y’all understand what this means. See, about a year ago two things happened. One I splitskied from my now ex hubbers. Two: Barista, Barbara Gordon (a frequent commenter and hopefully soon to be guest columnist (!!)) and yours truly created the Hijenks fan club. Instead of crying in bars all around town during my fugue state after my split, we talked about how much we loved the Jenks and how we couldn’t wait for me to get my own place so we could have an official Hijenks headquarters. We were going to talk about his rad reporting, Dave Mathews, rum and cokes and his sweet black leather jacket that he wears in the rain because he’s that big of a bad ass. Unfortunately he defriended us on Facespace shortly before I signed my lease and the club was dissolved. Now things have come full circle. My, oh my! What a difference a year makes.
So I was at happy hour last night in a bar near my crib. For no reason other than its proximity to my apartment I’ve been there quite a bit the past several weeks. Sometimes with some mens and sometimes not. (I am a lady, you guys!). Randomly I’ve had the same waitress each and every time. Last night she looked at me and my male companion and said something along the lines of, “Wow, good to see you guys again! Hope y’all come back soon!” The only thing is-that isn’t the same guy I’d been there with prior…so yeah…..awkward.
The word of the day is “Titillating”. See how many times you can work this word into your normal conversation without people snickering because you just said “titillating”.
Swine Flu, the health care debate and rebuilding the economy are all very important topics that I don’t care about nearly as much as who is going to win Big Brother. If you don’t watch this show then you’re so lame I can’t even deal. It’s the most awesome show on TV that you’re not watching. I’ve been singings its praises for years to no avail. My money’s on Kevin to win who is cute as a button. On Sunday’s show he actually said that the challenge required (and this is a direct quote) “A nice little floaty step”. Thankfully he naturally has a nice little floaty step and kicked ass to become the next Head of Household! Again, if you don’t know what any of this means then I’m sorry because you’re a loser, and Kevin is a winner.
I’m debating whether it’s too soon after UMOT to write about male pattern baldness balancing out the scales of justice in the Universe. I’d like to maybe write a limerick or something in iambic pentameter to keep it classy. Barista says I need to wait a hot sec. I say the time has come. What do y’all think?