I, TLW, do solemnly swear to not do any work today. In honor of Labor Day Weekend and my epic hangover from last night’s wine binge with Barista and Company, I do hereby promise to do the following today, September 4, 2009:
Search the internets until I can search it no more. I promise to check all of my favorite local blogs for updated posts. Then I will torture myself and visit blogs I love to hate which make me question humanity as a whole and myself for reading them in the first place.
Later I will check to see what’s going on around the RVA this weekend followed by the weather forecast, my horoscope, real news, fake news, celebrity gossip and online crossword puzzles.
I pledge to update Twitter and with the minutia of my day much to the dismay of those that follow us.
I will ensure that I am up to date with Facebook and will even check people’s profiles that I’m not really friends with to see what’s going in their lives and judge them accordingly. If I get really desperate I’ll even look at pictures of their babies.
I promise to take even more breaks today than usual. I’ll engage people in conversation that I usually ignore to avoid having to return to my desk. I’ll take several trips around the building and look at the ugly corporate “art” they have the audacity to display and question the taste of whoever the hell is in charge of picking that crap out.
Furthermore, I will come in late, take a two hour lunch and leave early.
This is my Oath to you.