Free Public Service Announcement to Parents across Virginia: I don’t care that your child started school today. No, really. Trust. I don’t care. At all. Wait hold on maybe I do care….never mind. I don’t. Not even a little bit. If my dead eyes aren’t enough of a sign that I don’t give a rip then please take my yawning loudly and walking away as a sign that I couldn’t care less and still be alive.
If you could allow me to just get this cup of coffee right quick without inundating me with First Day Back stories that would be great. “I can’t believe Billy’s starting kindergarten already!” “Timmy was such a brave boy this morning!” Blah, blah blah fortheloveofgodjuststoptalking and then maybe you would notice I don’t have kids-which makes me care that much less than the other coworker whose ear you’re staining.
How about we make a pact. I won’t offend your sensibilities about who what I did this weekend and you don’t bore me with little Betty’s first trip on the Big Girl School Bus. Deal?
PS-I only care about the kids of people I like. Thanks!