Café Darkness Top 5 Tips for Furlough Fun

Tim Kaine announced that state workers will be forced to take one furlough day to help balance Virginia’s state budget (or boo-jay as I like to call it).  I’m sure this will cause a shit storm of people bitching and complaining to which I say “shut it and stop complaining cause you’ve gots no idea”.  As someone who has worked their way through ten (yes, 10) of these days so far this year I’ve got some tips and tricks for the State workers of VA to them get through their one (1) unpaid day. 

1-Look at your expenses and see what you can cut. For me this includes what some people would think of as “essential items”….like food.  Tip: a jar of peanut butter is like three bones. You can pretty much use that and a multi vitamin to get yourself through at least a couple of days when scratch is tight.

2-From what I hear, the best things in life are free.  Apparently you can still have fun and not spend money.  Tip: Free things you can do include breathing, crashing weddings and/or funerals, counting cracks in the sidewalk, hanging out at the library and using their internets to Farm Town, staring at a light and then rubbing your eyes (free fireworks!), sitting in the rain and finally, mastering the cartwheel. 

3-Get a part-time J-O-B. Sometimes cost cutting measures aren’t enough and you’re left with oh, I don’t know….let’s just say hypothetically speaking…..$23.00 to last you, um, 12 days for example.  Tip: After you talk yourself down from the ledge, get a second a job. 

4-Pay it Forward.  Ha! Yeah right.  I just threw this one in to see if y’all are paying attention.  I’m one cell phone bill away from setting up shop myself on the corner of Kensington and Nansemond. Tip: If you see a short blond girl doing her Kool Aid dance for extra coin, throw in a couple extra pennies, would you?

5-Count your blessings!  Tip: Know that as bad as you have it, it should make you feel better to realize that there’s someone out there a little bit more miserable than you.  So go on and treat yourself to that $4.00 bottle of Pinot that’s on sale-you’ve earned it after all.  Cheers!    

Working a lot for not much money may seem like a kick in the ass, but really it just teaches you the lesson of hard work, time management and budgeting!


4 thoughts on “Café Darkness Top 5 Tips for Furlough Fun

    1. No silly-that’s ba-jay-jay. Again-something else that could potentially do for furlough fun if they were so inclined.

  1. This is what I get for going on vacation and not getting to read my work email–I miss announcements like this that I’m not getting paid? Well F that, I’ll just take one of my gazillion PAID sick days then. Furlough my ass.

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