Top 5 things TLW loves!

1-Shakira. Holy shit, y’all. Not only do I think she wrote “She Wolf” about yours truly but I’m fairly certain she could be arrested in many countries for those moves. Jesus Christ.  Makes a girl a little bi-curious.  Do yourself a favor and spend the $1.29 on this little ditty off iTunes. “She Wolf” is the new “Fire Burnin”!    

2-Not working.  As much as I hate Steal Your Soul, Inc for stealing my cash money to offset their poor financial decisions, I really do like not having to be here too often.  I don’t have to work a five day work week for the rest of the year! It makes having to sell off my worldly possessions that much more rad knowing that I can at least sleep in a little bit beforehand.

3-Sugar Free Red Bull, Red Wine, Woo Woos.  Consume aforementioned goodies in that order.  Of course this is nothing new. I just want to reiterate how awesome they are. 

4-Dismissing boys unceremoniously when facts that are disagreeable to my sensibilities are discovered.  Example: I went out with this one fellow several times recently.  He revealed that he hated mayonnaise.  This is unacceptable. How the hell could I date someone that hates on something I love?  Dating a Republican would be easier in my opinion than someone who smack talks mayo.  Next thing I know he would tell me he doesn’t like short sassy blond girls who curse in public.  Give me a break. NEXT!

5-T Saur taking vacation!  Green Beans and Collard Greens that sonofabitch actually took a day off!  He sent out an email notifying seemingly the entire company last week informing everyone that he will be gone Monday, September 21st.  As with all of his emails, I gloss over it and immediately file it under “useless crap”.  I can’t tell you how jazzed I was this morning when I received the second email reminding everyone that he would be out of the office, today, September 21st and could be reach via cell phone.  Then he told us all he would miss us and see us tomorrow. I don’t miss T Saur but I’m stoked I have his cell phone number. Fun with late night pranking!


9 thoughts on “Top 5 things TLW loves!

  1. Sweet Sassy Molassy, I used to love when bosses or turd co-workers would take unexpected vacations or be out sick. It was like getting a substitute for 7th grade algebra. “Yeah, sure Ms. OprahArms, I’ll get right on that equation – RIGHT AFTER I SNAP THIS GIRL’S BRA AND RE-TIGHTROLL MY ZUBAZ PANTS.”

    So… are you wearing tight-rolled pants today and snapping bras like a champ or what, you little she-wolf?

    1. Although I recognize that mayo contains eggs the thought of that flavor combination makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

    1. I’m more of a Mayo Post Modernist. I prefer it decontructed to its most basic form and put together in a surprising, new way.

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