You can’t please everybody!

All 22 of my semi feral cats have one-so why can't I?
All 22 of my semi feral cats have one-so why can't I?

Recently I’ve been off the radar here and there. Cell phones (even Billy Mays!) can be a bit of a stain at times.  I like to be free and live my life!  People expect you to be reachable at all times and that isn’t always conducive to my lifestyle.  What if I’m “busy”?  Or napping?  Or too stoney maroni to hold an intelligent conversation?  Or trying to find my Zen like feeling of peace and tranquility whilst sitting on my couch watching Big Brother?  It’s times like these when I just don’t answer Billy and let that shit go to voicemail for a hot second. 

To further complicate matters apparently boys think it’s rude to answer the phone when you’re hanging out.  Undivided attention and all.  When did this happen by the way? I don’t remember people getting all bent out shape about this prior but what the hell do I know?  Combine all of these factors and you get a situation were sometimes TLW just can’t answer that phone call, text message, or voicemail. 

I can’t blame my friends. They just want to make sure that I’m not, “Dead in a ditch somewhere!” They also want me to know, “God I was so worried about you!”, “I was about to call [insert another friend’s name here] to see if they had heard from you!” and finally, “Did you know there was a HOMICIDE reported this morning? Yeah, I thought that was you!”  Guys, I totally get it. If I had a friend who refused to answer her phone for hours on end and was prone to irresponsible behavior, I would be concerned too. But I don’t, cause that’s my job so then there’s that.

I’m going to start carrying around a honing device in my purse that will alert m’ladies to my current location.  Somehow I’ll need to figure out how this honing device will also communicate that I’m alive and well and I’ll call them back later-maybe tomorrow-but definitely soon and to not be overly concerned about my whereabouts because I’m more than likely just fine but a little tied up at the moment. (Get your mind out of the gutter with that one, please!)  If anyone has any recommendations of said tracking device, hit me up. My friends would be eternally grateful!


6 thoughts on “You can’t please everybody!

  1. What about those chips they put in dogs?? jk
    I know you fancy yourself a she-wolf but you are truly just a babe in the woods.
    oh and one more thing what is the past participle of eat?

  2. Everyone should know not to call during Big Brother. Common courtesy really. I need another reason to ignore people now that it’s over.

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