To friend or not to friend-that is the question

Use me!
Use me!

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. Dating these days is different than it was back in the good ole days. First of all, I just kind of just sat in a booth with my friends and got hammied and wondered why I never met anyone.  Plus, I drank a lot of beer, so I felt full…a lot….Secondly, and most importantly, there was no Facebook. Or maybe there was but who cares-that’s not the point I’m making here.  Facebook is a great way to judge get to know people and a great dating tool.   I recommend you use it to the fullest extent!    

Once friending someone you may or may not bang, ask yourself: how many friends do they have? Too many is more desperate than too few in my humble opinion. It screams “Like me! Validate my existence! Please!”.  Too few and you wonder what the hell the problem is.  Were they home schooled with the Duggers? Were they into role playing fantasy games?  I bet they like to attend Renaissance Festivals in present day and get upset when people forget it’s not 1513 and answer their cell phones. 

Take a look at their pictures.  Are they one of those freaks with only one picture up? Is it one of those uber creepy I-took-this-myself-without-my-shirt-on jobs?  Maybe they’re just not photogenic or maybe you’re my ex husband?  (Zing!)  Conversely, do they update their shit every week with 89 new pictures of “River Weekend September 18-19th!”?  Read: too much time on their hands/too into taking pictures. People who are too into taking pictures creep me out. I just want them to put the GD camera down and live their life for the love of God.  No one wants to look through 35 pictures of your awesome hot dog. Trust.

Once you’re “friends” with someone you just met and barely know you now have to decide how to proceed. It’s psychotic to start going through their page and start “liking” this and commenting on that. It also raises red flags with your real friends who will ask who the hell is “fill in the blank” and why has that person liked everything you posted for the past three months?  Then you have to give up the deets and your cover is blown. I prefer to be more of a silent sleeper and comment never.  I’m like a benign tumor-I’m there-but not all up in your shit. 

As you can see it’s a delicate balance.  Similarly to telling guys the name of the blog you write, one must tread lightly in the cyber world.  Don’t give up your info lightly because then you’re screwed and not in a good way.  Like sexy times, think twice before you seal the deal and protect yourself when you can.


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