Stress is a word I prefer to not have in my vocabulary. It’s bad for my skin and it interferes with my quest for being chill at all times. Most of the time things don’t get to me but right now I’m not going to lie-I’m a little stressed. Currently yours truly is worried about the following:
1-Dollar, dollar bills. Big Poppa said, “mo money, mo problems” but I beg to differ. Obviously Big Poppa didn’t incur $100.00 in insufficient fund charges when his bank charged him $20.00 for checks when the current balance in his account was $4.00. Luckily I was able to go all Strong Woman on their ass and ask them what part of “free checking” cost me $100.00? Say it with a smile and you’ll get that money refunded back to you in a hot minute. Trust.
2-Boys. They are confusing to my sensibilities. Right when I think one thing they go on and do the opposite. When I assume I have them figured out they turn around and actually act like rational, mature people. WTF? Remain hard to figure out at all times, please! It’s just easier that way. Thanks!
3-Stop your scratching! One of my dogs has been continually biting his ass for about a week now-particularly at night when I’m trying to sleep-or in the morning when I’m trying to remain asleep. He gets in the zone and his leg starts going ballistic. He shakes the bed like crazy and makes these insane snorty sounds. I get it, Scooter, you need a furcut. I’m all over it. Unfortunately for the two of us it’s not until next Wednesday so if maybe you could keep from chewing your hind quarters from the hours of 11 pm to 11 am that would be great!
4-The Best Things in Life Are Free! Ha! Did I mention not having any cheddar? Oh I did? Well I’ll just mention again because yeah, it’s like that.
5-My J-O-B. There’s one time of year when I actually have to work rather hard and that time of year is upon us. I don’t like working hard at work. I don’t get a sense of self satisfaction for busting my ass. It’s just not my style. Add in two heaping portions of extreme apathy and poverty and it’s not a good combination. Picture me just staring at the work I have to do and then deciding to check my bank balance followed by Facebook instead.