RICHMOND, VA. Far West End resident and Wyndham cougar Ms. Jane Black expressed shock and outrage upon discovering yesterday that her supposed best friend and partner in crime, Twin Hickory resident Ms. Stella Smith is also vying for the title of Ms. Far West End Cougar, a beauty and talent competition.
The competition, which is to be held at Kona Grill later in the month, will test the older but still sexually charged and viable women’s ability to: conceal sun spots, select the best push-up bra and use of popular catch phrases to avoid appearing their actual age.
Ms. Jones informed Ms. Smith of the competition over martinis recently at Bar Louie, also located in the Short Pump area of Richmond’s Far West End. “At first Stella didn’t seem interested in entering the competition but when a couple of I-still-live-at-home-with-my-parents VCU boys told her it was ‘rad’ she changed her mind. I’m so mad I have half a mind to tell Scotty, her son’s math tutor, that she’s not 32 years old like her fake ID indicates, but 47.” “Which, she added, “is like, at least 13 years older than me”.
At press time Ms. Smith could not be reached for comment since was busy getting her crow’s feet Botoxed and planning a sex toy party to be held at her home later this evening.