Life is all about compromises and friendships are no exception. For example, this past Saturday Barista wanted to get her day drink on. I immediately declined her invitation. I had stuff to do like take my two hour Saturday nap. I countered with the request that she hold her horses until 9ish and we could kick it out after that. She thought about it and then countered my counter offer with grabbing a (as in one drink) while I get the chicken tacos I had been jonesing for all week. I acquiesced and deal was done.
Later on in the evening we had to compromise again. About 4 glasses of wine and a red bull and vodka later B and I find ourselves at the Vault in a room that could only be described as the setting for Saw XX. We agreed to hear about the great benefits of smokeless Camel products in lieu of a $25.00 gift card and one free drink. (Twenty five bucks and a free drink?! Hello!) I’m pretty sure I signed myself up to be shipped off to Smoker’s Island to die a slow and painful death suitable only for those who are selfish and terrible enough to use tobacco products, but for $25.00 I say fuck it. Times are tight these days! Besides signing up for banishment, we were trapped in this death room for upwards of 20 minutes while the Camel reps went through their deal about how great these products were. (They don’t seem great-btws-I think I’ll just stick to my cigs).
I tried on more than one occasion to escape but Barista wouldn’t allow it! I think she threatened to cut me if I left assuring me it was for my own good. ($25.00! One free drink!) I one-sipped her red bull and vodka and demanded more but I was trapped. In order to distract her I placed the empty cup near her feet and told her be careful as she danced on the furniture. She caught on to what I was up to and hopped down and demanded we “Face, face, body, body” dance until the time was up. I accepted her counter to counter my counter offer and somehow managed to wait the remaining time until we were once again allowed be to free to live our lives. I must say in the sober light of day, I’m glad B threatened me bodily harm and I’m glad I one sipped her Red Bull. It was a win, win for everyone!