Top Five Things I Love about Halloween!

Pumpkins-halloween
I'll have what he's having!

Besides Bosses Day, Arbor Day, Flag Day and Administrative Assistant’s Day, Halloween is my most favorite holiday of the year. Christmas is cool with all of the holiday cheer and St. Patrick’s Day is rad but there’s no dressing up.  You know what’s never a let down? Halloween.  You know why? Because it’s effing amazing, that’s why. It was hard to narrow it down to just five reasons why Halloween is so great, but I did my best.

 

1-Think of the children! When I was a wee little girl I remember getting so excited to go trick-or-treating that I would go ballistic to get that party started.  Trick-or-treating is ridiculously fun.  Too bad kids don’t get to do it anymore and have to go to the lame ass mall instead-or some stupid “Halloween Carnival”.  That sounds about as much fun as opening up someone else’s Christmas presents but we have to protect the children-they’re our most precious resource you know! 

 

2-Sweet Treats! I love me some sweet treats and Halloween is all about the candy.  I love meandering around Steal Your Soul, Inc and helping myself to the cornucopia of deliciousness.  Candy Corn?  Yes, please. Lil tiny Crackle?  I don’t mind if I do!  My personal favorites are the mini Snickers so back the hell off!

 

3-It scares fundamentalist Christians!  Because Halloween originates from an old Celtic Festival called Samhain many Fundamentalists refuse to celebrate it which I think is great!  I don’t want to see you dressed up as the Rapture anyway!  BOO! 

 

4-The ladies let loose! I’m not sure when Halloween become a reason for ladies to dress like harlots but I love it.  It’s so absurd! “I want to be a fire fighter, but a sexy fire fighter”.  “I want to be a doctor, but a super sexy doctor”.  Ladies, we get it. You want to be sexy but are confined by society’s Puritanical rules of “right” and “wrong” and you use this one holiday of the year to let your inner Jezebel be free.  Just don’t get mad at me when I laugh at you in your sexy nun costume because-honestly-that’s just stupid. 

 

5-Costume parties! Costumes + booze = fun like wow!  There’s something about donning an outfit and getting absolutely hammied that’s the bee’s knees.  I’m not sure if it’s the fancy clothes or The Monster Mash but TLW absolutely loves.  Have a great Halloweek everyone and don’t do anyone I wouldn’t!

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