Ask Cafe Darkness III

Wow….we’ve really let our committment to answering your questions slide.  Here are some good ones:

I’m looking for some first date suggestions besides the typical Fan bar scene.  What do you recommend?

We gave it some thought, and decided that a perfect first-date during the fall would have to involve dinner, drinks and drama.  Skip out on your dinner bill, or try to avoid your cab fare by bolting from a moving vehicle.  You may not get a second date, but you will never be forgotten.

Why are there so many cats on Cafe Darkness?  Your male readers are ovah it.

Really?  Me thinks any man who uses the word “ovah” has a few cats of his own.  Semi-feral cats make excellent company!

I heard that TLW is in fact, an UMOT.

No comment.  Next please.

I had a dinner party and several guests arrived after cocktail hour, and I had already begun serving dinner.  Who owes whom an apology?  Was I a bad hostess?

Who are these rich gypsies who cannot be so bothered to be prompt?  Please invite us to your next party.  We will be on time to take full advantage of your cocktail hour and free home-cooked meal.  Trust.  You can be our new bestie, you fabulous host. 

How do I tell a new acquaintance that she’s more like a stalker than a friend to me?

You have many options.  We suggest a Facebook status update.

I really like this boy in my English class, but I don’t know how to tell if he’s into me too.  He sits with me at lunch sometimes and texts me pictures of himself skateboarding, but I don’t know if he thinks of me that way.  What do I do?

First, stop reading Cafe Darkness.  We’ll rot your brain.  Try the new 90210 show.  It’s supposed to be age appropriate.  Watch and learn from them how to catch the object of your obsession.  Your parents can address their nastygrams to the CW instead of the CD.

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2 thoughts on “Ask Cafe Darkness III

  1. > He sits with me at lunch sometimes and texts me pictures of himself skateboarding, but I don’t know if he thinks of me that way. What do I do?

    Send him a picture of you riding a teddy bear.

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