The Price Is Wrong

Ladies, be prepared when you snoop through your husband’s email to find out that he has a strange hobby he’s been hiding. Apparently, Mr. Barista’s newest time waster is responding to Craigslist scams.  Let it be known that I am not above posting someone else’s brand of darkness to this site…

Shanu:  I want to buy your item, so i appreciate your quick response on this.. so i want you remove the item from craigslist for me and consider it sold to me okay….  i will like to issue a cashier check to you for the payment and after the clearance of the check my shipper will come for the pick up asap…. so i want you get to me with these for the mailing out the check to you as soon as possible…with, Your full name to be put on the check ,,,your mailing address {including your state and city} and your Zip code,, together with your cell phone number so that i can contact you as soon as possible when the check mail out to you i will love to read from you asap.

Thanks. Best regard. Shanu.

Mr. Barista: That sounds great. My common-law wife said I would not be able to sell it for that price. She even made a bet with me that if I did she would give me a killer blow job. Man I am pumped.

Not sure if you are interested but I have a pet goat for sale also. I bought him thinking he would take care  of keeping the grass short since I am a lazy bastard and never feel like cutting the grass myself. Come to find out he is more of a lazy bastard than I am. He won’t even eat grass. I’m either going to sell him or take him out back, put a bullet in his head, and make goat soup. Talk to you soon.

Shanu: Yeah, i will train him by myself so i will like to buy this from you get back to me with your mailing information so that the check will be issue out to you asap. okay

Mr. Barista: Can your shipper pick up the goat? I will warn you, he is a biter. My youngest is missing a ear because of that little shit.  A few months back the goat was sleeping and my kid decides to pull a Jimmy Superfly off the deck and heel stomp the goat in his sack.  If you have never heard a goat scream it is an amazing sound.  Once the goat pulled it together he snuck up behind my kid while he was laughing and chomped off his ear. I will throw in the muzzle for free. Let me know.

There have been several updates to this convo.  Shanu says he will send a quiet bus for the goat if he can just have Mr. B’s social security number.  Mr. Barista has told a sob story involving huffing paint and being fired from driving from his beloved bus.  Shanu seems concerned and wants to help Mr. B curb his addictions…right after Mr. B helps him with his check fraud scheme.


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3 thoughts on “The Price Is Wrong

  1. Wait… Mr. B is selling a goat? I would be very interested in purchasing the goat, bites and all. I would kindly like to offer Mr. B a generous reward of golden coins and flowers and a nice waffle breakfast. I shall send double the amount of reward as offered by Mr. Shanu. However, my funds are located in a trust on the island of Turduguay. It shall take only a mere percentage of the amount I shall pay Mr. B, if he will front the money so I may send the funds directly to him.
    I really like goat milk, and I’m pretty sure even male goats can produce milk. Or semen. Either way.
    Please respond promptly so we may be forever friends and business associates.
    My very best, you American pig,
    Barrister Francios Ubunumumba

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