And the survey says…….

hills-3
From what I hear this is an old school picture from The Hills! Loves!

Recently I was selected by Nielsen Ratings to complete a survey detailing what I watch on TV.  This survey was preceded by postcard and two dollars asking me my age (25), salary ($100,000 +) and how many hours of TV do I watch a week (less than an hour). LOL/JK I watch way more than an hour of TV a week.  Anywhoos, I filled out their little postcard and spent those two dollars on some scratchers.  A couple of weeks later I get a whole package from Nielsen along with thirty bones (RIGHT?!) to complete a more detailed “diary” of what I watch for an entire week. 

Since I already spent the thirty bucks on more scratchers I figured I would be faithful to filling out this TV diary. Honestly, I really don’t watch that much television so I thought it would be fairly easy and painless.  I quickly realized there was no way I could honestly fill this out since it is apparent that, for the most part, I watch really awful television.  It’s my personal opinion that television ain’t for teachin’.  It’s for zoning out after a long day. If I want to learn something I’ll read a book goddamn it! Suffice it to say the only thing I could do is lie. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m an idiot! 

Instead of watching The Hills, I’m saying I watched Masterpiece Theater, even though The Hills is kind of like Masterpiece Theater but with more attractive people, but I digress.  Side note: I love that Kristen is back.  God she’s so nasty! Or so I hear.  I wouldn’t know.  I don’t watch it.  Question: do you guys think she’ll get with Justin Bobby for reals or do you think he’ll always love Audrina? It’s so intriguing!

Something else I absolutely do not watch is Bridezillas. I hear this is a rad show about the craziest women in America who, somehow by the grace of God, managed to find a man to agree to marry them.  These ladies are cra cra and it is brillz!  Too bad I didn’t watch it and saw a facinating independent documentary about the benefits of making your own mouthwash and deodarent on the Sundance Channel. 

No Real Housewives of Atlanta for me.  No, sir.  Instead I watched a 13 part series on the History Channel about our founding fathers.  If someone asked me if I was tardy for the party then I would not have the foggiest notion of what they were talking about.  If you question me then I may have to call Pooky!

I apologize in advance if my survey results skew television towards more intelligent and meaningful programs with substance and depth.  I know, I agree. I don’t want to watch that crap either.

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