A decade of fantastic employment is coming to an end. It got me thinking about all of the glorious places I have worked over the past ten years. Let’s take a walk down memory lane!
Stuffy’s. Were you eating subs from 1996-2001? If so, then more than likely I begrudgingly made you one! The pros (getting stoned in the walk-in refrigerator) far outweighed the cons (dealing with the public), thus explaining why I worked for minimum wage into my early 20’s. Also, that was some good eatin’!
Mr. Chips Convenience Store at JMU. My two hour shifts were a stain on my life but I caught up on my magazine reading during those grueling 120 minute and earned extra scratch for booze! Bonus was laughing at girl’s freaking out when they bought pregnancy tests. (Oh, please! Like you wouldn’t enjoy that, too!)
Pool attendant. Best. Summer Job. Ever. I was a “pool attendant” at a pool no one ever attended! I got a sweet tan, read a shit load of books and had people bring me Wendy’s on the daily! Plus also, I think this little gem paid the big bucks-like $6.50 an hour. Golden.
Waitress. Longest two months of my life. My disposition is not suited for this line of work. When I spilled food on customer’s clothes they expected me to apologize and then take the food off their bill! What?! I need the tips, man-now pony up the cash!
Receptionist. This is the beginning of the end. If one could point to a moment in their life where things go downhill this would be it. I answered phones at a local television station after college. Again, my personality does not agree with talking to stupid people all day. Have you ever actually called a TV station? You know who does call a TV station? Freak shows complaining about their “stories” being off the air during 9/11. Yeah, it’s like that.
Assistant Business Manager. The job is as exciting as it sounds! Due to my stellar performance as a receptionist (i.e. I had a college degree) I got a promotion to “Assistant Business Manager” thus summarily squashing my hopes and dreams of ever doing what I wanted to in life and settling for a job to pay the bills. It’s good to learn these lessons early you guys!
Current position at Steal Your Soul, Inc. See what I mean by the beginning of the end? I’ve got nothing. Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Here’s to the next decade bringing more exciting adventures!