Cafe Darkness Does Declare

Ladies and Gentlemen, Cafe Darkness is pleased to share with you that on January 5, 2010 at 1:26 pm EST, The Year of 2010 was officially pronounced, weighing in totally awesome at 4 words, 1 of which is a contraction which in our opinion is 1 word and not 2 words.    This is the earliest public announcement of any Cafe Darkness year on record, a long-standing tradition that dates all the way back to 2005.  Before we unveil the New Year let’s take a look back at years gone by:

2005 – The Year of Bad Service

2006 – A Very Merry Passive-Aggressive Year

2007 – The Year of the Cocksucker

2008 – The Year of What You Mean?

2009 – The Year of Best Practices

The current theme of the year went into effect at 1:27 pm EST today and shall remain in effect until December 31, 2010.  And the winner is……

2010 – The Year of That’s Not My Problem

Woo woos and fireworks!  You are not responsible for anything for an entire year!!!!  You have 12 unpaid parking tickets?  That sounds like a revenue shortfall for the city – not your problem.  Thieves have stolen your identity and purchased a small country in your name?  Not your problem.  You never agreed to deliver a state of the union address.  You got fired from your job?  You don’t work there anymore; it’s not your problem that someone took the fancy cappuccino maker home without permission.  All you can say about it is hell yes you’ll be having another half-caf with extra froth in your pajammy jams.

Other things that definitely aren’t your problem include-but are not limited to-no account fools who can’t handle your truth and defriend you on Facespace.  New girlfriend’s of husband’s past who consider you “baggage”.  Seem like she needs to take a look at the (wo)Man in the Mirror.  Short staffed at work with an insurmountable amount of work to complete in a very short span of time?  That, my friend, is the company’s problem-not yours.  In the wise words of Silkk The Shocker, “It ain’t my fault. (Did I do that?)”  And to answer his question, yes, I did do that, but it’s clearly not my problem. 

Work it.  Own it.  Live it.  Love it.  Or don’t love it…it’s not our problem!


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