Ladies and Gentlemen, Cafe Darkness is pleased to share with you that on January 5, 2010 at 1:26 pm EST, The Year of 2010 was officially pronounced, weighing in totally awesome at 4 words, 1 of which is a contraction which in our opinion is 1 word and not 2 words. This is the earliest public announcement of any Cafe Darkness year on record, a long-standing tradition that dates all the way back to 2005. Before we unveil the New Year let’s take a look back at years gone by:
2005 – The Year of Bad Service
2006 – A Very Merry Passive-Aggressive Year
2007 – The Year of the Cocksucker
2008 – The Year of What You Mean?
2009 – The Year of Best Practices
The current theme of the year went into effect at 1:27 pm EST today and shall remain in effect until December 31, 2010. And the winner is……
2010 – The Year of That’s Not My Problem
Woo woos and fireworks! You are not responsible for anything for an entire year!!!! You have 12 unpaid parking tickets? That sounds like a revenue shortfall for the city – not your problem. Thieves have stolen your identity and purchased a small country in your name? Not your problem. You never agreed to deliver a state of the union address. You got fired from your job? You don’t work there anymore; it’s not your problem that someone took the fancy cappuccino maker home without permission. All you can say about it is hell yes you’ll be having another half-caf with extra froth in your pajammy jams.
Other things that definitely aren’t your problem include-but are not limited to-no account fools who can’t handle your truth and defriend you on Facespace. New girlfriend’s of husband’s past who consider you “baggage”. Seem like she needs to take a look at the (wo)Man in the Mirror. Short staffed at work with an insurmountable amount of work to complete in a very short span of time? That, my friend, is the company’s problem-not yours. In the wise words of Silkk The Shocker, “It ain’t my fault. (Did I do that?)” And to answer his question, yes, I did do that, but it’s clearly not my problem.
Work it. Own it. Live it. Love it. Or don’t love it…it’s not our problem!