Barefoot 2.0

After months of setbacks and delays, the new and improved Barefoot Coworker 2.0 has finally arrived at Steal Your Soul, Inc.  In addition to a surly disposition and a permanent scowl, the upgraded model comes fully loaded with new features such as:

  • Narcolepsy – 2.0 will nod off into a peaceful nap when spoken to for more than 120 seconds.               
  • Closet Alcoholic Capabilities – shaky hands, blood-shot eyes and unexplained prolonged absences come pre-installed.
  • Church Ladyisms – Barefoot 2.0 has a strong sense of right and wrong and will quickly declare children born out of wedlock as bastards.  Refers to associates as shameful unrepentant sinners. 
  • Interruptus Maximus Tones – You’re in the middle of a sentence?  It’s her turn now.  2.0 also has automatic volume adjustments to always be louder than you. 
  • Digestive Issues – 2.0 is ready to disturb with stories of how her digestive system reacts to mayonnaise

Barefoot 2.0  is maintenance free, also known as not your problem, courtesy of 2010.

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One thought on “Barefoot 2.0

  1. So much fun can be had at Barefoot 2.0’s expense. I don’t even know her, but I already want to throw Raisinettes at her from across the room, then hide behind a desk or something when she looks. Can you sneak me into your building so I can do this? And can you pick me up a bag of Raisinettes?

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