Barefoot 2.0

After months of setbacks and delays, the new and improved Barefoot Coworker 2.0 has finally arrived at Steal Your Soul, Inc.  In addition to a surly disposition and a permanent scowl, the upgraded model comes fully loaded with new features such as:

  • Narcolepsy – 2.0 will nod off into a peaceful nap when spoken to for more than 120 seconds.               
  • Closet Alcoholic Capabilities – shaky hands, blood-shot eyes and unexplained prolonged absences come pre-installed.
  • Church Ladyisms – Barefoot 2.0 has a strong sense of right and wrong and will quickly declare children born out of wedlock as bastards.  Refers to associates as shameful unrepentant sinners. 
  • Interruptus Maximus Tones – You’re in the middle of a sentence?  It’s her turn now.  2.0 also has automatic volume adjustments to always be louder than you. 
  • Digestive Issues – 2.0 is ready to disturb with stories of how her digestive system reacts to mayonnaise

Barefoot 2.0  is maintenance free, also known as not your problem, courtesy of 2010.


One thought on “Barefoot 2.0

  1. So much fun can be had at Barefoot 2.0’s expense. I don’t even know her, but I already want to throw Raisinettes at her from across the room, then hide behind a desk or something when she looks. Can you sneak me into your building so I can do this? And can you pick me up a bag of Raisinettes?

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